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Saturday, March 29, 2008

Just talk...

Now i need to start wearing boots around cos i saw the most amazing rodent yesternite. Went to get stuffs at a shop close to my place and then i saw this sluggishly moving rat! I sha just gave it few yards witout yelling though and the next minute i see 3 able bodied men chasing one tingili rat! Well, i was like beta them than me! They killed it sha, then one Gbegborun that didn't even join in the killing came to meet me, he was like: Sister thank ur God o! dat was an ASIN (think he pronounced smtyn like dat and dont blame me if i spelled it wrong cos i dont know wat the hell it was) Do u know when dat stuff bites anyone it does not loose it's grip until THUNDER STRIKES! WTF? I just jejely thanked him and ran home! ( where i want see thunder for dis kind season?) and since then i'm been having dis strange feeling whenever i see smtn move! I just cant stand the idea of facing one Asin any time! I heard they sell affordable rubber boots in Mile 12... so Mile 12, here i come (after church tomoro)! Rodents aside, i have been meaning to post this blog about one Mr Chimpanzee dat i was sooo unfortunate to meet the other day but imma save it for my next blog.

How Una dey? Hearty Welcome top my beloved Aiijay!

Friday, March 7, 2008

9 words women use

The ones in brown are my comments. Enjoy.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
( i now i do dis a whole lot when i am boiling within)

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. ( this could be true but i know of some guys that spend more time dan ladies making up too.lol)

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. ( when i say nothing u shld know i want u to really find out wat is really wrong and u berra start getting on ur knees o cos hell will let loose soon)

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! ( ermmm, i guess i know my limit)

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (lmao)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (i dont really use this expression)

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever'). (yea rite)

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F* * K YOU! (sooo correct)

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.