job search

And that's how i searched for a new job in Lagos till my shoe soles all  got chopped!!! people already told me dat you must know sumbodi dat knows anoda sumbodi to get a job but i never wanted to ask an Uncle or Auntie moreover i was feeling like an *effikko* that could pass any job test. Reality finally set in after i went for a bank test, passed and didn't get called back after the 2nd interview cos my connection was not tight enough! i pity those that dont know any "better person"cos u're totally OYO. well, i finally got a job that lets me resume for 10am (still pinching myself to be sure it's for real), i close for 6pm and it's been smooth so far so im happy and chilling after plenty stress and anger.

O! tomorrow is my birthday and i still dont know how to spend my day as usual. *rolls eyez*..... Mwahz from me to yäll and if you want some cake, pls come with my birthday gift, ermmmm... location wil be posted soon *wink*

random..

Finally, rain! the weather's been soo hot though i'm not really complaining cos it's beta compained to flood, earthquake tsunami and all the crazi stuff dat's been going on. Guess i just have to be content with rashes all over my hand. (which is quite embarrasing).... It's oing to be a stressful weekend and i"m not looking forward to it. I had something interesting to talk about but will save it for when i really got the strenght. Yall have a fantabulous(is dat a real word?) weekend!

am i on crack?

This title is totally not wat the post is about but nuthin came to my mind and i had to use sometin jor...

So i went away for anoda 2 yrs and to think i've been cruising facebook all dis while. It just hit me today dat i'm addicted to facebook nd when i stated d obvious, my dear frd (Viola) suggested blogspot nd i promised to come look in.. Cant recognize names nemore but i have to have a swell tym cos i truly need yu guys to help me stay off facebook for a while.

Oya, show me plenti luv before i vex and pack my bags again.lol... feels good to be home guys. Lemme do a lil blog round.

Deliver us from Akpan...

AKPAN bought a new mobile phone. He sent a message to everyone on his phone book.

The message reads:

My mobile number has changed; earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is Nokia 6610. Please take note..

In a conversation:

AKPAN : I am proud because my son is in Medical College
Friend: Really? What is he studying?
AKPAN: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

Akpan visits his Doctor :

AKPAN: Doctor, in my dreams I play football every night.
DOCTOR: Take these drugs and you will be okay.
AKPAN: Can I take it tomorrow? Tonight is the final game.

Akpan and his wife :
AKPAN: If 2mrow I die, will you remarry?
Wife: No! I will stay with my sister but if I die will you remarry?
AKPAN: No, I will also stay with your sister.

AKPAN: People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know?
AKPAN: When I went to the park today, everybody said, oh GOD, you have come again.

AKPAN comes back to his car and finds a note saying “parking fine”
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole “Thanks for the compliment”

How do you recognize Akpan in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from his book when the teacher erases the board.

Once AKPAN was walking, he had a glove in one hand and none on the other hand. So a man asked him why he did so. He replied: The weather forecast announced that on one hand, it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

AKPAN: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race; the winner will get the cup.
AKPAN: If only the winner will get the Cup, why are the others running?

In a classroom:

Teacher: “I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future tense”
AKPAN: The future tense is “You will go to jail”.

AKPAN told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It is already raining”
AKPAN: “So what? Take an umbrella and go”

Personally, I think Akpan is smart, his foolishness shows he still has a brain. lmao!

oya, welcome manda!

Just tot to come mark register after a wholeeeeeeeeee year! Na wa o! guess i kinda got used to seeing FACES on facebook but i miss blogville o! where u get da latest update n aproko. Saying a big welcome to my ermmmm, hubie dizzy-edge@blogspot.com welcome o! Abeg any christmas parry? guess i should start bugging princesa cuz i sure wanna have fun dis xmas. Guess i'm back!

THANK GOD FOR MOI!

Thanx to everyone dat thot it nice to send me a bday wish.... I thank God for yet another year, it's not been easy but he's seen me tru and made me experience his love once more......

Had da coolest bday eva tho i hardly had tyme for me but tha bday still continues so and i'm still expecting my pressies. *wink wink*

I feel sooooo old! Already made my wish yesterday n i pray it comes tru. To all da leos kids....... Have a bday blast!

5 days to go....

Guess dis bufdei is not gonna be like others cause i dont even have an idea of wat i'm gonna do wit myself on dat day! I hope i get loads of gift though and i really wish i'll have fun on that day.....

Could anyone help me suggest how i could spend my day? i am thinking of going to da movies then maybe just hanging out wit friends or organising a small get together at home but i really have not made up my mind yet.

Peeps, i need ur help! N plz dont forget my Pressies.

my bloggaversary/countdown to bufdei...

yea rite! I just turned a year old last month on blogville.... i really did enjoy my early days when i was soooo devoted to my blog, when i was the reigning cherrypopping queen before the likes of afrobabe and 30+ took my shyne.. when i always had to work late cos i spend most of my normal work hour reading and commenting on blogs, the same place where i met my very 1st goddaughter! it has been an amazing one year though i kinda went awol lately but it's not been solely on purpose. a whole lot has been happening in ur gurl's life but i thank God for his mercies.



Guess it's tyme for shoutouts...



My biggest shoutout goes to my blog queen princesa cos if not for her i wouldn't have been here.... used to have a 360 blog page which i totally abandoned! You ruck gurl.x

ermmmm, it's kinda going to be difficult sending shout outs cos i dont want no one to feel left out so imma say u just join me in cutting da cake and popping da champagne while omosewa tthe assigned dj gives us some nice gbedu!

just have fun, it's on the house.lol



PS: my bufdei is on the 3rd of August o! berrra start shopping for my gifts o.

Quirk Quirk by popular demand.lol

Rules
1. Link the person/people who tagged you



2. Mention the rules in your blog



3. Mention six(6) spectacular quirks of urs



4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by adding their links



5. Let each of the tagged bloggers know they've been tagged..via their blogs



MY QUIRKS



1. I am a big tease but when i start getting plenty attention i tend to get irritated!



2. I like to procastinate! i've got sooo much unfinished blogs dat i'd love to post but neva have time to come complete and post them. Talk about i'll do it some other time.lol



3. I am a spendthrift, God will definitely help me on dat o! Dis minute u see me complaining of being broke, the next minute i got some cash and i'm spending like there's no tomorrow.( guess i like to spoil myself)hmmmmmm



4. I am an extremist..... when i fall in love wit anything, i make sure i exhauste it's life span. ( my new found love for mango now is driving me nuts!) heheheheeee



5. I am more of an introvert, tend to go silent when i'm in mist of people dat i'm not used to, have been to da club like 2ice in my wholeee adult life and i love to be on my own reading novels or just watching movies.

6. I am an emotional freak.... i try not to attach sentiments to movies, sports and all dem irrelevant stuffs.... haba manda!

I am tagging..... whoever has not been tagged yet!


Got robbed last month and i lost ma fone, jewelleries and some other stuffs. Thank God i still got my life though.

Just talk...

Now i need to start wearing boots around cos i saw the most amazing rodent yesternite. Went to get stuffs at a shop close to my place and then i saw this sluggishly moving rat! I sha just gave it few yards witout yelling though and the next minute i see 3 able bodied men chasing one tingili rat! Well, i was like beta them than me! They killed it sha, then one Gbegborun that didn't even join in the killing came to meet me, he was like: Sister thank ur God o! dat was an ASIN (think he pronounced smtyn like dat and dont blame me if i spelled it wrong cos i dont know wat the hell it was) Do u know when dat stuff bites anyone it does not loose it's grip until THUNDER STRIKES! WTF? I just jejely thanked him and ran home! ( where i want see thunder for dis kind season?) and since then i'm been having dis strange feeling whenever i see smtn move! I just cant stand the idea of facing one Asin any time! I heard they sell affordable rubber boots in Mile 12... so Mile 12, here i come (after church tomoro)! Rodents aside, i have been meaning to post this blog about one Mr Chimpanzee dat i was sooo unfortunate to meet the other day but imma save it for my next blog.

How Una dey? Hearty Welcome top my beloved Aiijay!

9 words women use

The ones in brown are my comments. Enjoy.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
( i now i do dis a whole lot when i am boiling within)

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. ( this could be true but i know of some guys that spend more time dan ladies making up too.lol)

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. ( when i say nothing u shld know i want u to really find out wat is really wrong and u berra start getting on ur knees o cos hell will let loose soon)

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! ( ermmm, i guess i know my limit)


(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (lmao)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (i dont really use this expression)

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever'). (yea rite)

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F* * K YOU! (sooo correct)

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

is she pre????????????

My new cravings for stuffs i've not had for years is kinda driving me crazi lately. I just woke up one morning and the 1st thing i asked my broda was where i could get Alewa( one hausa invented prolly boiled sugar stuff) and he sure looked at me like i was going crazi! ( how old mama like me go dey find sugar for early morning like dat? Well, luck was on my side cos few days later i saw an angel on disguise selling Alewa in the market and do i need to tell u i chattered more than enuf? ( some pple here ate it wit me o! not gonna mention names *evil laughter*)


And then i remembered Agidi jollof( i cant explain wat they make dis wit cos i dont even know sef) n i guess plenti pple would not have had dis but i have o and i cant seem to find it anywhere around... Maybe i need to travel to the east to relieve dis part of my craving. This took me down da memory lane and i laughed over those days that i used to buy packets of toffee sweet and eclairs and hide in my skul bag, i'm sure if any cute looking guy had known my lil secret and showered me wit chocolates then (preferably Mars) i would have been head over heels in love wit him.lol... Those days sef i used to have dis boi dat was asking me out, but we were both in ss3 and he sooo showered me wit chocolates n ice cream! it was worth the while jare but i already had small sense so i kept doing shakara till one sharp babe took him from me *hisssss*

I am officially looking for a swittooth boifriend!


Well, i guess i have payed my dues (plenti cavities) but if anyone offers me a pack of chocolate now i wont reject o! lmao

My very first!

I got a lotta things to talk about so imma take dem one at a tyme. as i can see, i have been continually yabbed! and i choose not to be yabbed again! i will try my possible best to post at least 1 lenghty or maybe short blog every week! (let no blogger laugh at this o!)

Ehen, down to biz. I went to write exams o and for the first time in my life, i officially stayed in a hostel! It was there i got to realise that we chics have got AMAZING character o! u need to see everyone displaying their talent although i got to fall inlove with this particular room , i think the occupants chose themselves cos they were busy running da biggest butt contest! It was in this same room dat i did my very first pole dance! Yea, i was taught how to do the pole dance and it's not easy o! I used to think dat was the easiest way to make money but i just realised making money whichever way is not easy at all.

Well, i just need u guys to contribute some money and buy me a nice long pole and leave the rest to me. Think my dream of becoming a pole dancer is finally gonna be accomplished!

ps: MOMMY, it's not really wat u think it is o! before u change ur mind and take Tbaby my one and only blog daughter away from me.

lemme do my blog round b4 i run off again.lol

NEW YEAR, NEW BEGINNING!

Happy 2008 to all my loved ones! i know manda has been a berry naughty gurlie but i promise to turn a new leaf dis year. Have been soo busy wit exams and alll but i really had u al i mind all dis while! Hope i was missed o! Do i have any new year rsolution? cant tell for now, let's just watch the year unfold! can someone plz tell me more about the blog parry cos im sure gonna be there! Lemme go wear my gbedu shoes o jare! see yall there!

Happy Weekend

Me n my notorious blogs! i know everyone is tired of me cos i'm always missing in action but i refuse to be chased out of blogville by ermmm work, stress n Iyabo Opeke! lmao (dont bite me o!) I promised i was gonna always pop in whether they like it or not so i have come to redeem my promise o! Shout out to Labella, i have included u o! No vex for me again abeg.

Once upon a time (2 weeks back) i was sooo pressed n hungry and decided to branch da sweet sensation on Opebi, after taking a longgggg piss i noticed something like i was stolen from Sweet sensation on the seat cover! See me laughing my head off, who will ever want to steal a toilet seat cover, am i crazi? out of curiosity, (the toilets were extraordinarily clean to my amazement) i moved to the next ladies n then i saw a note on the door, some crazi dude wrote his number and was like if u looking for a young, cute, tall guy, plz call dis number. Madness in practise! I just went to the counter and ordered for my meal jare and i'm sure the attebdant would have been wondering why i was wearing dis sheepish smile. wetin concern agbero wit overload?
As if that was not enuf o! i went to chicken republic the other day (Princesa beware o, it's the same one we went to) with my gurlfriend and dis guy dat was looking for ermmm, i dunno jare. Friend needed to use the ladies and i had to powder my nose, so we escorted each other. we got there and noticed the door was locked and my friend was sooo pressed she was dancing around! after waiting for like 4 mins or so friend could not hold it anymore and ran to the men's! i was praying we wont get caught, lo n behold she came out and whoever was in the other one was still there o! we then started passing jokes like maybe the lady was giving birth only to see one heavy grown man step out. Mo gbe! where we shocked? dat would have been an understatement o! what was a guy looking for in a ladies restroom abeg? as if dat was not enuf, he turned to me and was like hey! can i plz have ur number? wat's ur name? dis is madness of the highest order o! Me i just discharged and told him he should meet me up in front. I was scared dat he may be an armed robber getting ready for operation or prolly just a sycko but watever he was, he sha scared me! We now walked out giggling and the Mr Nice dat brought us was wondering wat was wrong. To my greatest amazement bobo drunk came out and sat directly in front of us waiting for my number o! I just exchanged looks wit my friend and we walked out only for him to drag me back, now he's like u forgot i asked u for ur number! I was racking my brain to search for a guy's number dat i'll give him when Mr Nice spoke up.

Mr Nice: Mister, wat do u want? (see liver)

Bobo drunk: Mind ur Businesss, i was talking to the lady

Mr Nice: Didn't u notice she is wit me?

Bobo drunk: Let the lady speak for herself!

Me: i turned to Bobo drunk o! Swit plz give me ur number, i promise to call u so u can get mine.

Bobo Drunk: Ok, my number is 080..... (me i didn't even bother memorizing any).

Bobo drunk quietly walks away. Then i turn to Mr Nice and give him a piece of my mind. Pls i dont want my name to be on news that someone got shot cos he was trying to harrass Bobo drunk on my behalf.

If u were in my shoes, wat would u have done? for the Guys, do u think it was right for Mr Nice to speak up like dat?

I have updated o! lol ... HAVE A FUN FILLED WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey loves!

i know i have been sooo naughty but if u guys know wat i have been going thru, i'm sure u'll donate strenght n time for me. I will begin by answering all questions or maybe some. Afrobabe, i neva carry! lmao.. dat was the most hilarious comment! my blog daughter mama, give me plenty kisses to my one n only tontolo, tell her i am truly sorry i kinda abandoned her but i've been going thru plenty! la reine, where have u been gurl? Omo G, i can see u finally abandoned me pata pata! Calabar gal/orientednaijababe, ur 1st tyme on my page and i was not there? vex want kill me o! Olamild, no worry, u wont miss my presence no more! Nikkisaab, runaway chic! classybabe, i am fine o! Jaybabe, i am back hun. Obinna, did i need u to remind me dat? lol... solomonsdyelle, nne, i'm back! lurlar, u can imagine me disappearing into thin air just like dat! Nna, wat r u talking about? spoilt pikin.lol... Omosexy, how have u been? Eddie, wish it was my biz sef, i work to be payed o! Chicala, i know u will say welcome to the club ba? Sparklicious, i noticed o! Na skul cause am? Princesa, u finally dragged me down shei? hope u no vex again! Where Obi sef? Ehen, i saved u for the last mizz opeke, DEBTOR! who u dey tag? abeg e neva reach tyme to pay me?

To all my muslim faithfuls i say Barka da Sallah! Abeg does anyone know where i can eat free ram?

I am taking up my right hand to promise dat i'll neva leave for this long again! i missed u alll.mwaahzzzz.

PS: i am sending this from a cafe so i cant go round blogs cos server is crawling, will definitely do dat once i get hold of a beta system. I dey kampe!

Busy Manda

It's been a hella of a week, hope next week will be much beta. Missed u guys but u know how they say it " duty calls".


Have a nice weekend. Plentyu gist next week.x

Mandology

FOODOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Mayonnaise mixed with sugar and milk.

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Nandos (lovin 'em)

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Barcelos

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. If the waitress/waiter is cool and fun, at least 5%


Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Rice, Noodles

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. ermmmmm


Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Eggs

Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Wrigley's Spearmint


TECHNOLOGY

Q. Number of contacts in your cell phone?
A. About 250


Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. Somewhere around 180 or so


Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Mr's pix!


Q. How many televisions are in your house or apartment?
A. 2...


BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right

Q. Do you like your smile?
A. Yes

Q. What's your best feature?
A. My smile


Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Hell Nay (maybe my tooth will come off soon)

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Hearing

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. I got 2 now and it's like HELL on Earth!


Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Think a 25litre gallon filled with water! Man, dat's heavy!


Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Nope.

CRAPOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Hell no!


Q. Is love for real?
A. of course!

Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. I'd have to think it over....


Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. For me, pink goes anytime.


Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Yep...


Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A. Think so!

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Maybe.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Hell yea!

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Depends on the person...


Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. Hell nay!


Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Mmmmmh, lemme see.... YEA!!


Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. The pay is tempting but da publicity is for life and i value my boby!


Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. Cant do dat!


Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. Cash? hmmmm I might

Q: Last Friend you talked to?
A: Jenny


Q: Last person you called?
A. Mr

Q: Last person that called you?
A: Uju


Q: Person you hugged
A: Kachi

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: 7

Q: Color?
A: Pink


Q: Season?
A: Summer


CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: Yea

Q: Mood?
A: Sick and tired!


Q: Listening to?
A: Tu face's (my Love)


Q: Watching?
A: Tha comp, although i'm meant to be working.lol

Q: Worrying about?
A: My Health!


RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: Tha Kitchen (not for food though)lol

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: go braid ma hair.

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: How Stella got her groove back ( Guess i have memorised all da phrases).lol

Q: Do you smile often?
A: A whole lot

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Yes unles i get pissed .


Q: Now that the surveys done what are you going to do?
A. Get back to work!


Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: Trouser pocket (ma fone)

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: Dont think i've seen dat.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: None

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Who the hell SITS in the shower?

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Hell nay, love ma privacy.


Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A: lemme count (ermm, i dont know jo)

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: Haba! not another police story.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: A Pole dancer.heheheheheee




Happy weekend my pple. Was too lazy to type a blog so i decided to modify da meme.

And i saw clifford Orji!

I put myself in this one o! Now my imaginations are running wild n all thanx to one n only Princesa for giving me that juicy prison gist. Before yesternite, i'd NEVER seen the four walls of a police station talk more of prison but after reading madam P's blog on visiting a prison and me pleading wit her to take me along next tyme, i went home and thoughts of being confined to a place for a long period of tyme filled my lil abi big head! one thing is i am claustrophobic n dat means i cant stand tight spaces. I sooo love my freedom n i dont want to go to jail! Ok, i had dis very funny and strange dream yesterday(hardly rememba my dreams) but i sure remembered dis one, maybe cos it was more like a nitemare. I was meant to be sleeping but the next thing i knew, madam P was at mine.

Manda, manda!! where u dey? abeg let's start going to kirikiri jare. Me i was excited o! Awwww, alas! are we having a feast again? noooo, we're just going on a visit( i wonder who we were visiting sef) well i saw myself wit the entourage o in this grass filled building (not wat i expected) but i was sha looking for Mr Handsome when suddenly i felt like i'd lost my way! yepaa, how e take happen? well i later figured how to get back on track but guess wat? madam P don leave me! i cried my eyes out o n was lonely if not for the friends i made there ( Clifford Orji n Rev King)! see mad pple connection! I cant place wat happened next but i sha know i woke up sweating profusely! I no gree sleep again o, so i started kabashing(praying)! Now i have OFFICIALLY changed my mind o! I no go Prison again! abeg if anybody write blog about prison make una no let me read am o! Fear don dey catsh me plentiful!

HAPPY WEEKEND!

A friend sent this to his gurlfriend and copied me stating dat was gonna be her bday pressie when he gets back. Cant tell if dude was serious or joking but i found it INSULTING! Now women have turned to remote control dat u guys can manipulate the way u want ehn? No problem o! will try get one for guys too.

Any suggestions on wat we should write ladies? n guys, do u think it's funny too?

PS: THANX A WHOLEEEE LOT FOR ALL THE COMMENTS N PRAYERS ON MY LAST BLOG! FEEL A LOT MORE BETA NOW. GOD DEY.MWAHZZZZZ TO ALL.