Now i need to start wearing boots around cos i saw the most amazing rodent yesternite. Went to get stuffs at a shop close to my place and then i saw this sluggishly moving rat! I sha just gave it few yards witout yelling though and the next minute i see 3 able bodied men chasing one tingili rat! Well, i was like beta them than me! They killed it sha, then one Gbegborun that didn't even join in the killing came to meet me, he was like: Sister thank ur God o! dat was an ASIN (think he pronounced smtyn like dat and dont blame me if i spelled it wrong cos i dont know wat the hell it was) Do u know when dat stuff bites anyone it does not loose it's grip until THUNDER STRIKES! WTF? I just jejely thanked him and ran home! ( where i want see thunder for dis kind season?) and since then i'm been having dis strange feeling whenever i see smtn move! I just cant stand the idea of facing one Asin any time! I heard they sell affordable rubber boots in Mile 12... so Mile 12, here i come (after church tomoro)! Rodents aside, i have been meaning to post this blog about one Mr Chimpanzee dat i was sooo unfortunate to meet the other day but imma save it for my next blog.
How Una dey? Hearty Welcome top my beloved Aiijay!
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Friday, March 7, 2008
9 words women use
The ones in brown are my comments. Enjoy.
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
( i now i do dis a whole lot when i am boiling within)
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. ( this could be true but i know of some guys that spend more time dan ladies making up too.lol)
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. ( when i say nothing u shld know i want u to really find out wat is really wrong and u berra start getting on ur knees o cos hell will let loose soon)
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! ( ermmm, i guess i know my limit)
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (lmao)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (i dont really use this expression)
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever'). (yea rite)
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F* * K YOU! (sooo correct)
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
( i now i do dis a whole lot when i am boiling within)
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. ( this could be true but i know of some guys that spend more time dan ladies making up too.lol)
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. ( when i say nothing u shld know i want u to really find out wat is really wrong and u berra start getting on ur knees o cos hell will let loose soon)
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! ( ermmm, i guess i know my limit)
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (lmao)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (i dont really use this expression)
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever'). (yea rite)
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F* * K YOU! (sooo correct)
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Monday, February 25, 2008
is she pre????????????
My new cravings for stuffs i've not had for years is kinda driving me crazi lately. I just woke up one morning and the 1st thing i asked my broda was where i could get Alewa( one hausa invented prolly boiled sugar stuff) and he sure looked at me like i was going crazi! ( how old mama like me go dey find sugar for early morning like dat? Well, luck was on my side cos few days later i saw an angel on disguise selling Alewa in the market and do i need to tell u i chattered more than enuf? ( some pple here ate it wit me o! not gonna mention names *evil laughter*)
And then i remembered Agidi jollof( i cant explain wat they make dis wit cos i dont even know sef) n i guess plenti pple would not have had dis but i have o and i cant seem to find it anywhere around... Maybe i need to travel to the east to relieve dis part of my craving. This took me down da memory lane and i laughed over those days that i used to buy packets of toffee sweet and eclairs and hide in my skul bag, i'm sure if any cute looking guy had known my lil secret and showered me wit chocolates then (preferably Mars) i would have been head over heels in love wit him.lol... Those days sef i used to have dis boi dat was asking me out, but we were both in ss3 and he sooo showered me wit chocolates n ice cream! it was worth the while jare but i already had small sense so i kept doing shakara till one sharp babe took him from me *hisssss*
I am officially looking for a swittooth boifriend!
Well, i guess i have payed my dues (plenti cavities) but if anyone offers me a pack of chocolate now i wont reject o! lmao
And then i remembered Agidi jollof( i cant explain wat they make dis wit cos i dont even know sef) n i guess plenti pple would not have had dis but i have o and i cant seem to find it anywhere around... Maybe i need to travel to the east to relieve dis part of my craving. This took me down da memory lane and i laughed over those days that i used to buy packets of toffee sweet and eclairs and hide in my skul bag, i'm sure if any cute looking guy had known my lil secret and showered me wit chocolates then (preferably Mars) i would have been head over heels in love wit him.lol... Those days sef i used to have dis boi dat was asking me out, but we were both in ss3 and he sooo showered me wit chocolates n ice cream! it was worth the while jare but i already had small sense so i kept doing shakara till one sharp babe took him from me *hisssss*
I am officially looking for a swittooth boifriend!
Well, i guess i have payed my dues (plenti cavities) but if anyone offers me a pack of chocolate now i wont reject o! lmao
Friday, January 18, 2008
My very first!
I got a lotta things to talk about so imma take dem one at a tyme. as i can see, i have been continually yabbed! and i choose not to be yabbed again! i will try my possible best to post at least 1 lenghty or maybe short blog every week! (let no blogger laugh at this o!)
Ehen, down to biz. I went to write exams o and for the first time in my life, i officially stayed in a hostel! It was there i got to realise that we chics have got AMAZING character o! u need to see everyone displaying their talent although i got to fall inlove with this particular room , i think the occupants chose themselves cos they were busy running da biggest butt contest! It was in this same room dat i did my very first pole dance! Yea, i was taught how to do the pole dance and it's not easy o! I used to think dat was the easiest way to make money but i just realised making money whichever way is not easy at all.
Well, i just need u guys to contribute some money and buy me a nice long pole and leave the rest to me. Think my dream of becoming a pole dancer is finally gonna be accomplished!
ps: MOMMY, it's not really wat u think it is o! before u change ur mind and take Tbaby my one and only blog daughter away from me.
lemme do my blog round b4 i run off again.lol
Ehen, down to biz. I went to write exams o and for the first time in my life, i officially stayed in a hostel! It was there i got to realise that we chics have got AMAZING character o! u need to see everyone displaying their talent although i got to fall inlove with this particular room , i think the occupants chose themselves cos they were busy running da biggest butt contest! It was in this same room dat i did my very first pole dance! Yea, i was taught how to do the pole dance and it's not easy o! I used to think dat was the easiest way to make money but i just realised making money whichever way is not easy at all.
Well, i just need u guys to contribute some money and buy me a nice long pole and leave the rest to me. Think my dream of becoming a pole dancer is finally gonna be accomplished!
ps: MOMMY, it's not really wat u think it is o! before u change ur mind and take Tbaby my one and only blog daughter away from me.
lemme do my blog round b4 i run off again.lol
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
NEW YEAR, NEW BEGINNING!
Happy 2008 to all my loved ones! i know manda has been a berry naughty gurlie but i promise to turn a new leaf dis year. Have been soo busy wit exams and alll but i really had u al i mind all dis while! Hope i was missed o! Do i have any new year rsolution? cant tell for now, let's just watch the year unfold! can someone plz tell me more about the blog parry cos im sure gonna be there! Lemme go wear my gbedu shoes o jare! see yall there!
Friday, October 19, 2007
Happy Weekend
Me n my notorious blogs! i know everyone is tired of me cos i'm always missing in action but i refuse to be chased out of blogville by ermmm work, stress n Iyabo Opeke! lmao (dont bite me o!) I promised i was gonna always pop in whether they like it or not so i have come to redeem my promise o! Shout out to Labella, i have included u o! No vex for me again abeg.
Once upon a time (2 weeks back) i was sooo pressed n hungry and decided to branch da sweet sensation on Opebi, after taking a longgggg piss i noticed something like i was stolen from Sweet sensation on the seat cover! See me laughing my head off, who will ever want to steal a toilet seat cover, am i crazi? out of curiosity, (the toilets were extraordinarily clean to my amazement) i moved to the next ladies n then i saw a note on the door, some crazi dude wrote his number and was like if u looking for a young, cute, tall guy, plz call dis number. Madness in practise! I just went to the counter and ordered for my meal jare and i'm sure the attebdant would have been wondering why i was wearing dis sheepish smile. wetin concern agbero wit overload?
As if that was not enuf o! i went to chicken republic the other day (Princesa beware o, it's the same one we went to) with my gurlfriend and dis guy dat was looking for ermmm, i dunno jare. Friend needed to use the ladies and i had to powder my nose, so we escorted each other. we got there and noticed the door was locked and my friend was sooo pressed she was dancing around! after waiting for like 4 mins or so friend could not hold it anymore and ran to the men's! i was praying we wont get caught, lo n behold she came out and whoever was in the other one was still there o! we then started passing jokes like maybe the lady was giving birth only to see one heavy grown man step out. Mo gbe! where we shocked? dat would have been an understatement o! what was a guy looking for in a ladies restroom abeg? as if dat was not enuf, he turned to me and was like hey! can i plz have ur number? wat's ur name? dis is madness of the highest order o! Me i just discharged and told him he should meet me up in front. I was scared dat he may be an armed robber getting ready for operation or prolly just a sycko but watever he was, he sha scared me! We now walked out giggling and the Mr Nice dat brought us was wondering wat was wrong. To my greatest amazement bobo drunk came out and sat directly in front of us waiting for my number o! I just exchanged looks wit my friend and we walked out only for him to drag me back, now he's like u forgot i asked u for ur number! I was racking my brain to search for a guy's number dat i'll give him when Mr Nice spoke up.
Mr Nice: Mister, wat do u want? (see liver)
Bobo drunk: Mind ur Businesss, i was talking to the lady
Mr Nice: Didn't u notice she is wit me?
Bobo drunk: Let the lady speak for herself!
Me: i turned to Bobo drunk o! Swit plz give me ur number, i promise to call u so u can get mine.
Bobo Drunk: Ok, my number is 080..... (me i didn't even bother memorizing any).
Bobo drunk quietly walks away. Then i turn to Mr Nice and give him a piece of my mind. Pls i dont want my name to be on news that someone got shot cos he was trying to harrass Bobo drunk on my behalf.
If u were in my shoes, wat would u have done? for the Guys, do u think it was right for Mr Nice to speak up like dat?
I have updated o! lol ... HAVE A FUN FILLED WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once upon a time (2 weeks back) i was sooo pressed n hungry and decided to branch da sweet sensation on Opebi, after taking a longgggg piss i noticed something like i was stolen from Sweet sensation on the seat cover! See me laughing my head off, who will ever want to steal a toilet seat cover, am i crazi? out of curiosity, (the toilets were extraordinarily clean to my amazement) i moved to the next ladies n then i saw a note on the door, some crazi dude wrote his number and was like if u looking for a young, cute, tall guy, plz call dis number. Madness in practise! I just went to the counter and ordered for my meal jare and i'm sure the attebdant would have been wondering why i was wearing dis sheepish smile. wetin concern agbero wit overload?
As if that was not enuf o! i went to chicken republic the other day (Princesa beware o, it's the same one we went to) with my gurlfriend and dis guy dat was looking for ermmm, i dunno jare. Friend needed to use the ladies and i had to powder my nose, so we escorted each other. we got there and noticed the door was locked and my friend was sooo pressed she was dancing around! after waiting for like 4 mins or so friend could not hold it anymore and ran to the men's! i was praying we wont get caught, lo n behold she came out and whoever was in the other one was still there o! we then started passing jokes like maybe the lady was giving birth only to see one heavy grown man step out. Mo gbe! where we shocked? dat would have been an understatement o! what was a guy looking for in a ladies restroom abeg? as if dat was not enuf, he turned to me and was like hey! can i plz have ur number? wat's ur name? dis is madness of the highest order o! Me i just discharged and told him he should meet me up in front. I was scared dat he may be an armed robber getting ready for operation or prolly just a sycko but watever he was, he sha scared me! We now walked out giggling and the Mr Nice dat brought us was wondering wat was wrong. To my greatest amazement bobo drunk came out and sat directly in front of us waiting for my number o! I just exchanged looks wit my friend and we walked out only for him to drag me back, now he's like u forgot i asked u for ur number! I was racking my brain to search for a guy's number dat i'll give him when Mr Nice spoke up.
Mr Nice: Mister, wat do u want? (see liver)
Bobo drunk: Mind ur Businesss, i was talking to the lady
Mr Nice: Didn't u notice she is wit me?
Bobo drunk: Let the lady speak for herself!
Me: i turned to Bobo drunk o! Swit plz give me ur number, i promise to call u so u can get mine.
Bobo Drunk: Ok, my number is 080..... (me i didn't even bother memorizing any).
Bobo drunk quietly walks away. Then i turn to Mr Nice and give him a piece of my mind. Pls i dont want my name to be on news that someone got shot cos he was trying to harrass Bobo drunk on my behalf.
If u were in my shoes, wat would u have done? for the Guys, do u think it was right for Mr Nice to speak up like dat?
I have updated o! lol ... HAVE A FUN FILLED WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
hey loves!
i know i have been sooo naughty but if u guys know wat i have been going thru, i'm sure u'll donate strenght n time for me. I will begin by answering all questions or maybe some. Afrobabe, i neva carry! lmao.. dat was the most hilarious comment! my blog daughter mama, give me plenty kisses to my one n only tontolo, tell her i am truly sorry i kinda abandoned her but i've been going thru plenty! la reine, where have u been gurl? Omo G, i can see u finally abandoned me pata pata! Calabar gal/orientednaijababe, ur 1st tyme on my page and i was not there? vex want kill me o! Olamild, no worry, u wont miss my presence no more! Nikkisaab, runaway chic! classybabe, i am fine o! Jaybabe, i am back hun. Obinna, did i need u to remind me dat? lol... solomonsdyelle, nne, i'm back! lurlar, u can imagine me disappearing into thin air just like dat! Nna, wat r u talking about? spoilt pikin.lol... Omosexy, how have u been? Eddie, wish it was my biz sef, i work to be payed o! Chicala, i know u will say welcome to the club ba? Sparklicious, i noticed o! Na skul cause am? Princesa, u finally dragged me down shei? hope u no vex again! Where Obi sef? Ehen, i saved u for the last mizz opeke, DEBTOR! who u dey tag? abeg e neva reach tyme to pay me?
To all my muslim faithfuls i say Barka da Sallah! Abeg does anyone know where i can eat free ram?
I am taking up my right hand to promise dat i'll neva leave for this long again! i missed u alll.mwaahzzzz.
PS: i am sending this from a cafe so i cant go round blogs cos server is crawling, will definitely do dat once i get hold of a beta system. I dey kampe!
To all my muslim faithfuls i say Barka da Sallah! Abeg does anyone know where i can eat free ram?
I am taking up my right hand to promise dat i'll neva leave for this long again! i missed u alll.mwaahzzzz.
PS: i am sending this from a cafe so i cant go round blogs cos server is crawling, will definitely do dat once i get hold of a beta system. I dey kampe!
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