I have been very busy but i promise to put up something soon. Thru wit tha cleaning and refill, on my way to the dentist' for the extraction. Make una pray for me o! Will leave u guys wit this funny joke i got from a friend.lmao
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on? the man responded "Militants have kidnapped, OBJ, IBB, Atiku, Buhari, Tony Anenih, Ahmadu Ali, Dariye,Nnamani,Odili,Ibrahim Mantu, Tinubu, Kalu, Ibori andIgbinedion. They're asking for a $500 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. So, we're going from car to car, taking up a collection. " The driver asks, "How much is everyone contributing, on the average?" the man responded "About a litre of petrol and a stick of matches."
Me: warrahell is dat? my bill? for wat now? all i wanted was to extract one tooth n refil the other! Now u come up wit all dis gist about root canal and 2 more refills!
Doc: Mem, we just gave u a good price, we already gave u some discount cos we know.........
(thots)Mmmmmh, this is just sooo outrageous!
Me: Ok, i'll see how it goes, (meanwjile, it's not like i'm d one paying o!)
Doc: so when are u coming to commence treatment so we can book u down.
Me: which treatment? (my thots) i would have just saved myself all these stress n shakara by going to Randle clinic o! by now i'll just pay like 5k and come out feeling fresh.
(to the doc) i'll leave it for later this week, that's when i make up my mind o!
Doc: I know u're scared of the treatment madam, it's same wit most of our patients (my thots) who tell u say i fear treatment na the money i fear jare!
Doc: we'll leave it for thursday, but u gotta pick a tyme urself. If u come in the morning, u'll meet doc A but if u come later in the day, i'll attend to u. so which do u want? ( my thots)yea, i already noticed u enjoy my being a chatterbox.
Me: (kinda feeln flirty) imma leave it for later, will rather have u see my ugly teeth. "chuckling" (i drink sef?)
Doc: Great then, (turns to the receptionist) the bill (back to me) plz give dis to ...............
Me: why wont u guys just pass it down, do i have to carry the bad news around myself? well, i reluctantly delivered the message and the instruction from .... is commence treatment ASAP. (if i asked for that money for personal use, i'm very sure i wouldn't have gotten it that easy o, now this ole buruku will chop it alone)
On thursday: i kinda feel exicted and dress to kill, leave the office at about 3pm so i can meet my 4pm appointment.
Doc: are u not glad to see me?
Me: in ur wildest dreams! (can someone plz tell this rubba that i got a bobo!)heheheheheeeeehehe....
They do the cleaning and brushing and all wat not( to be sincere it felt good o) Then they book me for next week tuesday, same time(which means same doctor), well i wont dress to kill again o, cos i narrowly escaped getting stained wit all the plenti washing water.lol
On my way out,(receptionist) sori ma, the doctor wants to have a word wit u. (me feeling like, o! he wants to say it now, i know u like me)
Doc: i'm soo sorry but i forgot to add dis to the invoice i gave u, i smile thinking it's another discount.
Me: looks at the invoice, 40 wat?
Doc: this is supposed to be for the crown filling but i forgot to include it,my bad! This sums the bill up to 130k.
Una dey crase, abeg berra send the message down urself o! i no go again! hissssssssssssssssssssssss.
PS: ermmmm, my tooth is still shinning o! i have refused to eat any oily food since yesterday and i'm seriously looking for anyone dat's got a toothpaste advert to offer.
ok, i did the final fall on the 5th of this month, i mean final o! cos i'll neva fall again in jesus name, someone please shout AMEN! You need to see me on this fateful day, i went to work and was trying to rush home cos my boss was waiting outside the gate, so i rannnnnn from the warehouse to the office then one of the security guys came and was like "oga dey outside dey wait" then i increased the speed and just when i was almost victorious o! i just heard gbam! and i saw myself on the floor, as shame will catch the devil i was wearing a low waist jean o but God being merciful i wore a long top so the top just shifted a wee bit. when i realised i was on the ground was when i saw the security guys rushing down to come carry me up! chei i don see pepper, a whole BIG GURL like me! i sha acted like a true daughter of my momma and jumped up before they will see me finish o and walked gracefully away mumbling thank God i didn't sustain any injury only for me to notice some mins later dat i had this deep cut on my palm. it was nasty and painful but i thank God it's healed pata pata o! (big gurl wit sore hand) na wa!
maybe i should talk about just one more embarrassing moment and dis one still dey pain me o! back then in secondary sch, i used to attend dis shakara lesson dat had all happening chics and bobos my age but the co-ordinator was a very good teacher and a family friend at that so i was always using style to do the shakara. On this fateful day o, i jejely wore my short skirt to lesson but i had dis nasty cough and i knew it was an abomination to "break the stereo" in class so i just tried to respect myself n the cough but the darn thing wont let me be! and then i tried rushing out to cough when dis stupid nail just collected my skirt from me, i would have just stylishly turned the torn side to the other part and walked away but my ever inquisitive mind wanted to know if the skirt was really torn so i made the mistake of asking one dumbass chic behind me.
me: in a whisper, is my skirt torn?
gurl: haaaa! e tore o!
Can u imagine? now i became centre of attraction at class and everyone wants to know wat tore, the cough lost it's ground sef but every mischeivious student patiently waited after classes to see the gurl wit the torn skirt and believe me i had to bear that name "e tore " for close to a year like i was the one that said it! i still cringe whenever i rememba this day!
See me see embarrassing moments! Got any to share?
yet another busy week! dis friday has been helele for me! i just realised i didn't even attempt my cherry popping blog rounds dis week!(i dey vex). so beware! imma terrorise yu all next week o! i am still at work n may leave here by 10pm or maybe slep over sef(evil laugh). my colleague is not here so i have 3 pple's work on my small head! (is d head big sef) well, i no go die! God dey!
Make i wish all my sweethearts a FUNFILLED AND STRESSFREE weekend o!
Abeg make una remember me for the enjoyment! i missed all of una plenty!
PS: Omo g, i am still waiting for my OFFICIAL APOLOGY O!
My pple, make una no vex for me. U guys should vex for my oga cos he caused it o! Can u imagine giving me 3 pple's work load and topping it wit deadline? if this is wat the raise was all about then he should take it back and give me my lil breathing space o! ( i dont think i mean it though)lol... enuf of the ranting jare, tyme to gist
I neva knew i was sooo loved! n i mean both the blog me and the real me. I was showered wit love at work on my bday, yes i went to work but i stubbornly covered my wholee table with bday cards so no where to write or work on except the computer and dat meant gisting wit friends and replying comments.lol.. the groove started wit a small bday bash at work, my oga gave me a kinda surprise bday party cos he was forming forgeting and i was HURT! can u imagine taking pains to arrange bday bgift for the man and my own tyme i didn't even get a text? I almost cried o! but was totally surprised at about 3pm when i saw food, drinks and cake. you need to see the way i was grinning (too bad i didn't take a camera to work, would have posted pictures) the most amazing thing was dat EVERYONE got me something at work, all of a sudden i became famous! it was dat bad that even our cleaner was like he was not happy cos i didn't tell him about my bday so he didn't get me a pressie (see me see trouble o!) well, he still bought me a card and i appreciate o! After all the plenty office groove, my boss now gave me my pressie which was ........................ I no go talk! heheheheheheeeee
Then it was evening and i got home to meet like 5 different cakes waiting for me, (wat was i meant to do wit all dat) i had to take 2 home from work o! (dat made it all 7) 1 from the office, the other from a suitor's sista( yes, i don dey get suitor na)hahahahahahaaaa.
amidst all the exictement, i remeber i had a date wit Mr, his friend and my friend. it was meant to be a kinda blind date for my friend and Mr's friend n it was my bday groove o! so we went to mega plaza to start the nite out wit booze, there i did my fanta and the best sharwama ive done in ages! and Mr's friend comes n starts noise about chics taking fanta and all and ordered smirnoff ice. Well, as the ibo gurl dat i am, i use sense push drink to my friend and the chic was busy gulping it down like she was drinking water! i was scared o, but they said the alcohol content was not much so she continued. I think i took a bottle of it sef but was still in full charge of myself ( i mistakenly escaped being a warri chic now) but friend started geting tipsy (HOW I WISH I KNEW, I FOR CARRY HER GO HOUSE O!) now she starts making noise about the place being too quiet and how she wants to go sing karaoke or dance to some music and then we change base to somewhere (i cant remember the name), they were playing good music but i was too embarrassed to dance cos my friend was busy dancing wit every guy or gurl that crossed her way ( i didn't know she was high o!) Then we met this white guy dat said it was his bday too n dat he works wit UN or so (wetin be my own) n decides to buy me a drink and sing me a bday song of my choice, i made the mistake of requesting for Mariam makeba's song o! cos my friend resulted to giving mr's friend a lap dance wit her sexy stilettoes. it was hilarious and u should have seen the embarrassing look on the guy's face! the white dudes n mr were busying having a good laugh but i didn't find it funny o, cos i was scared for my friend! we finnally managed to bundle her into the car amidst protest and all about how her mum warned her not to leave the island at nite so she does not get raided by police and all, she later got beta after puking all over the car (yucky) and dragging the gear with mr.hahahahahhahahaaaa. i was exhausted and slept off cos i was too tired and i had lectures for 9am the next day (it was like 2:30am or so)..
saturday was just lectures, sleep and a wholeee lot of rest!
then i went to church/work on sunday and later hung out wit Obi, Princess, Mr, my friend and me.lol... we were meant to go see a movie but Princess was LATE and she does not drive at nite so we ended up eating isi ewu (Goat head) amidst plenty picture taking by the one n only paparazzi (P) and plenty blog gist n all. the weekend was a wholeeee lotta fun but i think the most hilarious was friday nite.
i was meant to list my pressies here but after i heard omo sexy talk about getting 5 pairs of shoes as bday pressie, i decided to shut my mouth.lmao... i got plenty gifts sha.
PS: the blind date didn't work out cos the guy thot the gurl was not his kind ( he asked for it by getting the poor lil gurl high)!
Now do u think it's good to judge her by th nite's happenings or is he at fault for getting my poor friend drunk. wat would u have done if u were the guy?
Hope u guys missed me.lol..... They have finally decided to kill me with work here. Cant go thru tha rigours of typing a blog today so imma leave it for later. Make una no vexabeg, na busy cause am. mwahhhhhzzzzzzzz.xxxxxx
as she has fell from a building ,in the tub and ever from a tree
but she has survive to tell the story
as we all can see
Manda Manda Manda
one of the greatest of them all
on your special day we all stand and give you a BIG round of applause
Manda Manda Manda
Go have yourself a ball......
(written n composed by Omo G)
I was meant to type a lenghty blog today but i just came on, saw dis poem by my one n only Omo G n decided to post it. I'm gonna stop here for now but will definitely keep u guys posted on wat is happening. To all my loved ones, Chicala u r really my sis from another mum! Thanx for the special bday blog. I am meant to call names but i dont want to call n forget some so imma leave it at this.
I feel sooooo loved! hope everyone gets a share from this wonderful cake.mwahzzzzzzzzz