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Monday, July 9, 2007

Inspired by Blog Queen!

The other day when i read P's blog, i found it kinda funny cos i almost had an encounter wit the "Eze Nwanyi" (Queen mother or so) herself and it was not a very funny experience! It all started when i had to go to my hometown wit Family and i always looked forward to it cos i get spoiled silly and pampered by all and me enjoy being pampered.lol.... But dis unfortunate time, our trip was cut short cos of one nonesense or would i say yeye man dat just came up wit this outrageous story about our village Goddess "Eze Nwanyi"!

Well, i always noticed dat whenever i pass dis particuler uncle of mine and greet him, he'll always mumble smtn dat sounded like "eze smtn" but i was never bothered with watever he said, at least i've done my own quota by respectfully greeting him. OK, Oga comes visiting one day and had dis HEATED convo with my mum! was wondering wat it was all about but wetin concern agbero wit overload? the grown ups could take care of them probs witout getting we "kids" involved! well trouble started one day when i greeted Uncle S again and heard him mumble (how are u eze nwanyi!) well me being the inquisitive me dat i've always been, went home and asked mum why Uncle S called me eze nwanyi! as if the man knew wat happened, he came to the house dat evening and demanded dat he talk to both maself and my mum, mumsie tried being polite and asked me to sit down and listen to watever nonsense he had to say, Uncle S started by saying i was the (CHOSEN ONE) WAT DA HELL? i didn't even know he was one of the agents of our so called GODDESS till dat moment. The story is, she said she wants me to be her prophetess or watever i have to call dat and all i needed to do was come see her in her place, then the vision seeing will start, make una see me see trouble o! Guess he thought it a lucrative job cos he also reminded us that pple will come visit me and give me gifts and dat i could make things happen if i wanted to! " guess dat means possessing all the evil spirits!" To say i was SHOCKED AND SCARED was an understatement, now Uncle brings out kola nut from where ever and asks me to chew and ask "eze nwanyi" to reveal herself to me. Now i am shaking wit tears and i think that was when my mum got out of her trance and sent Big Uncle S out of the house and warned him never to come close to any of his kids! Funny but true story o!


i still get pissed when i rememba this incident and i keep wondering why the foolish "thing" didn't just pick someone else dat was willing to serve her instead of coming to cut our long awaited travell short.

PS: i've seen a picture of this Queen mother and believe me, she looks nuthin like me! she got this very longgggggggggg breast dat sweeps the floor and has dis big cat on her lap( grandad had the pix, wonder how he got it). i used to have a cat when i was veryyyyy young but caught whooping cough cos i always shared my left over tea from skool wit it so dad flung it away and dat was the end of cats! NOw i wonder wat i would have been doing in that shrine, neva been there so dont even know wat it looks like but i guess Obinna would have called me to stop the rain or maybe many of u will come pay some consulting fees for me to help solve ur probs!


This world is really full of EVIL POWERS and only GOD will save his pple!

25 comments:

Unknown said...

Hmm...wahala dey oo..I no come your house again..ha ha!!
Anyway...you don't have to be a chief priestess sef, you already got all t he guys worshipping you...and about breasts that sweep the floor..?? Give it time..!!

EDNUTEY said...

na wa o
nigerians need to get over dis thing we call ignorance abeg!
goddess this, goddess that, who still does that anyway?!!!
u be d chosen one
LMAO! I'm not really laughing
o ga o, I don't even know where to start
one thing u need to do s keep praying, those ppl are evil o, u just keep praying
lmao@breast sweeping d floor
o ga o

diary of a G said...

diary of a g was here

Eyin'ju Oluwa said...

Errrm, i'm trying not to laugh o, dont want any bad dreams. Thank God your mom acted when she did sha...chei.

NikkiSab said...

Oh baby!!! I mean Eze Nwanyi!!! Don't mind me. U must av been scared stiff about the tin. Thank God for christ O!! and i wanna believe u av embraced him unless, if dem fipple kps a trying, zen 1 of dis a days u know wats gonna go down. U take care girl n pray pray pray.

Manda said...

Obi:- How u take know say guys dey worship u? take ur tyme o! God forbid breast sweep floor! Ole kwa!



Sparkle:- My sister, he dat is in me is wayyy greater than he dat is in them! God wil neva let them get me o!


Omo G:- Ur silence these days makes me wonder!



Omosewa:- Abeg my sista, U no go get bad dream! I thank God for my mom o!



Nikki:- I have embraced christ and wont let go! Thanx for the advice swit!

princesa said...

Babygirl this your story na real wa o!
You say ur Grandad had a pix of the Goddess now that makes mne wonder if he used to worship her and that made you the 'chosen one'.

Anyway whatever! What matters now is that you know Christ and no weapon fashioned against you can never prosper in Jesus name,Amen!

E be like say dis days na only prayer i dey pray for here sha.
Pastor Princess doesnt sound bad, abi?

Manda said...

Pastor Princess:- Grandad was a Chief, and lived an adventurous lyfe but he also had a special seat in the church (Anglican). i know he was not an idol worshipper per say but he was a traditionalist. Me i dont even understand it all sef, but the story behind the pix is a blog for another day and i dont know the full gist yet so i cant tell.

Admin UD said...

Hmmm, SCARY MOVIE part 6 :)

Manda said...

Yea rite Ugo! verrrrry scary!

Life through rose-tinted glasses said...

lmao @ chosen one...in this day and age...take care babe

Manda said...

LTRTG:- i'll take care babes! Thanx for da luv.

Unknown said...

hm mmmmm....

pammy

diary of a G said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
diary of a G said...

sorry, finally finished
busy busy you know?

sorry you family trip got spoiled by all that unfortunate nonsense
"Eze Nwanyi"

the part that tripped me out was when ur
"Uncle brings out kola nut from where ever and asks me to chew and ask "eze nwanyi" to reveal herself to me"

WTF?!!?

but don't worry that's some good gist for what its worth

cos us Canadians life's are filled with the same old boring routine
work work and more work

btw that was my comment above
made a mistake...sorry

...toyintomato said...

i did not want to be left out, so i had to add my own 2 cents
unfortunately i really don't have an idea what you are talkin about.(2 much education in my family caused this..no vex)
so it is with great humiliation and vexation that toyintomato has no comment for this post.
****dont worry i will be back for the next update

Manda said...

Pammy:- Guess it's too much to say a word. No worries. hmmmm will do.lol



Awwww, boring life! It's been more like work! work!! work!!! lately for me and it's pissing me off. Guess i need a LIFE!

Manda said...

toyintomato:- I'm not vexing! will definitely update and i promise it will be smtn u'll flow wit too. lol @ (2 much education in my family caused this..no vex).hahahhahahaaaaa

diary of a G said...

am bout to add you to my list of favorite bloggers so....
how do you say, how do you say, update sha!

An-Igbo-Dude said...

eze nwanyi.. oh sorry, manda is this true? u try o

how long ago was this and has uncle s come back since then? has ezenwanyi sent someone else since?

na wa o, but look on the bright side, if things rough u small, u fit use style tell people say u be ezenwanyi and they will believe anything u say. i will be ur consultant. hehehehehehe

princesa said...

Update joo! I don update my blog o!!

Manda said...

Omo G:- Thanx hun, u're super!



Obinna:- u don carry my 1st assignment dash dat ur town rainmaker na.lol.. This happened like 6yrs back and no, i have not seen Uncle S since then. Cant rememba the last time i travelled home though.


Princess:- i dey rush go ur blog now.

Unknown said...

hehehehehheehe
Wonders shall everly begin
I enjoyed every bit of this story
I'm trying to tell myself it's untrue.

Manda said...

Olamild, thanx for stopping by. Untrue ke? i wish it was.

dylan said...

hahaha ! wOw ! i knew there was more to you ... ahhh hahh ! so you are a goddess ehh ! abeg if there ever has been anything i have done to piss you off in the past pls forgive me before i incur the wrath of "eze nwanyi". your mum did the sensible thing by sending your uncle away.You have to remain prayerful and alway hold unto the Lord.

~Dylan