Happy Weekend

Me n my notorious blogs! i know everyone is tired of me cos i'm always missing in action but i refuse to be chased out of blogville by ermmm work, stress n Iyabo Opeke! lmao (dont bite me o!) I promised i was gonna always pop in whether they like it or not so i have come to redeem my promise o! Shout out to Labella, i have included u o! No vex for me again abeg.

Once upon a time (2 weeks back) i was sooo pressed n hungry and decided to branch da sweet sensation on Opebi, after taking a longgggg piss i noticed something like i was stolen from Sweet sensation on the seat cover! See me laughing my head off, who will ever want to steal a toilet seat cover, am i crazi? out of curiosity, (the toilets were extraordinarily clean to my amazement) i moved to the next ladies n then i saw a note on the door, some crazi dude wrote his number and was like if u looking for a young, cute, tall guy, plz call dis number. Madness in practise! I just went to the counter and ordered for my meal jare and i'm sure the attebdant would have been wondering why i was wearing dis sheepish smile. wetin concern agbero wit overload?
As if that was not enuf o! i went to chicken republic the other day (Princesa beware o, it's the same one we went to) with my gurlfriend and dis guy dat was looking for ermmm, i dunno jare. Friend needed to use the ladies and i had to powder my nose, so we escorted each other. we got there and noticed the door was locked and my friend was sooo pressed she was dancing around! after waiting for like 4 mins or so friend could not hold it anymore and ran to the men's! i was praying we wont get caught, lo n behold she came out and whoever was in the other one was still there o! we then started passing jokes like maybe the lady was giving birth only to see one heavy grown man step out. Mo gbe! where we shocked? dat would have been an understatement o! what was a guy looking for in a ladies restroom abeg? as if dat was not enuf, he turned to me and was like hey! can i plz have ur number? wat's ur name? dis is madness of the highest order o! Me i just discharged and told him he should meet me up in front. I was scared dat he may be an armed robber getting ready for operation or prolly just a sycko but watever he was, he sha scared me! We now walked out giggling and the Mr Nice dat brought us was wondering wat was wrong. To my greatest amazement bobo drunk came out and sat directly in front of us waiting for my number o! I just exchanged looks wit my friend and we walked out only for him to drag me back, now he's like u forgot i asked u for ur number! I was racking my brain to search for a guy's number dat i'll give him when Mr Nice spoke up.

Mr Nice: Mister, wat do u want? (see liver)

Bobo drunk: Mind ur Businesss, i was talking to the lady

Mr Nice: Didn't u notice she is wit me?

Bobo drunk: Let the lady speak for herself!

Me: i turned to Bobo drunk o! Swit plz give me ur number, i promise to call u so u can get mine.

Bobo Drunk: Ok, my number is 080..... (me i didn't even bother memorizing any).

Bobo drunk quietly walks away. Then i turn to Mr Nice and give him a piece of my mind. Pls i dont want my name to be on news that someone got shot cos he was trying to harrass Bobo drunk on my behalf.

If u were in my shoes, wat would u have done? for the Guys, do u think it was right for Mr Nice to speak up like dat?

I have updated o! lol ... HAVE A FUN FILLED WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey loves!

i know i have been sooo naughty but if u guys know wat i have been going thru, i'm sure u'll donate strenght n time for me. I will begin by answering all questions or maybe some. Afrobabe, i neva carry! lmao.. dat was the most hilarious comment! my blog daughter mama, give me plenty kisses to my one n only tontolo, tell her i am truly sorry i kinda abandoned her but i've been going thru plenty! la reine, where have u been gurl? Omo G, i can see u finally abandoned me pata pata! Calabar gal/orientednaijababe, ur 1st tyme on my page and i was not there? vex want kill me o! Olamild, no worry, u wont miss my presence no more! Nikkisaab, runaway chic! classybabe, i am fine o! Jaybabe, i am back hun. Obinna, did i need u to remind me dat? lol... solomonsdyelle, nne, i'm back! lurlar, u can imagine me disappearing into thin air just like dat! Nna, wat r u talking about? spoilt pikin.lol... Omosexy, how have u been? Eddie, wish it was my biz sef, i work to be payed o! Chicala, i know u will say welcome to the club ba? Sparklicious, i noticed o! Na skul cause am? Princesa, u finally dragged me down shei? hope u no vex again! Where Obi sef? Ehen, i saved u for the last mizz opeke, DEBTOR! who u dey tag? abeg e neva reach tyme to pay me?

To all my muslim faithfuls i say Barka da Sallah! Abeg does anyone know where i can eat free ram?

I am taking up my right hand to promise dat i'll neva leave for this long again! i missed u alll.mwaahzzzz.

PS: i am sending this from a cafe so i cant go round blogs cos server is crawling, will definitely do dat once i get hold of a beta system. I dey kampe!

Busy Manda

It's been a hella of a week, hope next week will be much beta. Missed u guys but u know how they say it " duty calls".


Have a nice weekend. Plentyu gist next week.x

Mandology

FOODOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Mayonnaise mixed with sugar and milk.

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Nandos (lovin 'em)

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Barcelos

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. If the waitress/waiter is cool and fun, at least 5%


Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Rice, Noodles

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. ermmmmm


Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Eggs

Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Wrigley's Spearmint


TECHNOLOGY

Q. Number of contacts in your cell phone?
A. About 250


Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. Somewhere around 180 or so


Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Mr's pix!


Q. How many televisions are in your house or apartment?
A. 2...


BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right

Q. Do you like your smile?
A. Yes

Q. What's your best feature?
A. My smile


Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Hell Nay (maybe my tooth will come off soon)

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Hearing

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. I got 2 now and it's like HELL on Earth!


Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Think a 25litre gallon filled with water! Man, dat's heavy!


Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Nope.

CRAPOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Hell no!


Q. Is love for real?
A. of course!

Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. I'd have to think it over....


Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. For me, pink goes anytime.


Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Yep...


Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A. Think so!

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Maybe.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Hell yea!

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Depends on the person...


Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. Hell nay!


Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Mmmmmh, lemme see.... YEA!!


Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. The pay is tempting but da publicity is for life and i value my boby!


Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. Cant do dat!


Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. Cash? hmmmm I might

Q: Last Friend you talked to?
A: Jenny


Q: Last person you called?
A. Mr

Q: Last person that called you?
A: Uju


Q: Person you hugged
A: Kachi

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: 7

Q: Color?
A: Pink


Q: Season?
A: Summer


CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: Yea

Q: Mood?
A: Sick and tired!


Q: Listening to?
A: Tu face's (my Love)


Q: Watching?
A: Tha comp, although i'm meant to be working.lol

Q: Worrying about?
A: My Health!


RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: Tha Kitchen (not for food though)lol

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: go braid ma hair.

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: How Stella got her groove back ( Guess i have memorised all da phrases).lol

Q: Do you smile often?
A: A whole lot

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Yes unles i get pissed .


Q: Now that the surveys done what are you going to do?
A. Get back to work!


Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: Trouser pocket (ma fone)

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: Dont think i've seen dat.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: None

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Who the hell SITS in the shower?

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Hell nay, love ma privacy.


Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A: lemme count (ermm, i dont know jo)

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: Haba! not another police story.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: A Pole dancer.heheheheheee




Happy weekend my pple. Was too lazy to type a blog so i decided to modify da meme.

And i saw clifford Orji!

I put myself in this one o! Now my imaginations are running wild n all thanx to one n only Princesa for giving me that juicy prison gist. Before yesternite, i'd NEVER seen the four walls of a police station talk more of prison but after reading madam P's blog on visiting a prison and me pleading wit her to take me along next tyme, i went home and thoughts of being confined to a place for a long period of tyme filled my lil abi big head! one thing is i am claustrophobic n dat means i cant stand tight spaces. I sooo love my freedom n i dont want to go to jail! Ok, i had dis very funny and strange dream yesterday(hardly rememba my dreams) but i sure remembered dis one, maybe cos it was more like a nitemare. I was meant to be sleeping but the next thing i knew, madam P was at mine.

Manda, manda!! where u dey? abeg let's start going to kirikiri jare. Me i was excited o! Awwww, alas! are we having a feast again? noooo, we're just going on a visit( i wonder who we were visiting sef) well i saw myself wit the entourage o in this grass filled building (not wat i expected) but i was sha looking for Mr Handsome when suddenly i felt like i'd lost my way! yepaa, how e take happen? well i later figured how to get back on track but guess wat? madam P don leave me! i cried my eyes out o n was lonely if not for the friends i made there ( Clifford Orji n Rev King)! see mad pple connection! I cant place wat happened next but i sha know i woke up sweating profusely! I no gree sleep again o, so i started kabashing(praying)! Now i have OFFICIALLY changed my mind o! I no go Prison again! abeg if anybody write blog about prison make una no let me read am o! Fear don dey catsh me plentiful!

HAPPY WEEKEND!

A friend sent this to his gurlfriend and copied me stating dat was gonna be her bday pressie when he gets back. Cant tell if dude was serious or joking but i found it INSULTING! Now women have turned to remote control dat u guys can manipulate the way u want ehn? No problem o! will try get one for guys too.

Any suggestions on wat we should write ladies? n guys, do u think it's funny too?

PS: THANX A WHOLEEEE LOT FOR ALL THE COMMENTS N PRAYERS ON MY LAST BLOG! FEEL A LOT MORE BETA NOW. GOD DEY.MWAHZZZZZ TO ALL.

How do i feel?

I dont know what title to give this blog so i chose dat. I've been meaning to do a blog for my sweetest heart Chi, but anytime i try to put something down, i neva bring myself to finish it. I know this is kinda late but i still have goose bumps whenever i rememba u r no more! I still find it hard to believe dat my one and only adopted baby broda is gone! (dont get me wrong, i got a younger bro) but i also got 2 adopted brodas dat i love sooo much!

This is a longggg stori and maybe wont make sense but it all started like a joke, 3 years back...

Me @ home(asaba) someone comes to pay aunt a visit, the truth is i dont know who he is or wat he wants but i help go get aunt and when i get back, i see dis old youngee telling about how i acted homely unlike most gurls my age by helping go get my aunt even though i'd not had my bath n i was witout makeup (guess he later got to learn i'm not a makeup person) well i did all the thank u for the compliment thingy and left o! Only to see same man like 2 days later in front of my place, oya wetin u find come? n he's like i could not take my mind off u so I decided to come pay a visit! (shuo, make una see me see trouble o!) Well i quickly discharged him and that was it for a longgg tyme, later left for the city only for my cuz to call and make noise about AD asking about me anytime he sees her.

To cut the whole stori short, we met someother tyme i came around and dis tyme i got to see his 2 ADORABLE sons! Mehnnn, i would have gone for the elder one if he was my mate but i was like 2 yrs his senior and the younger one became my favourite. They took me as the bigger sis they neva had (got to find out their mum was late n their dad wanted a young step mum for them). i wonder why... The man stopped bugging me when he noticed his kids liked me a whole lot and tried being pals but i dont take to such pretense jare so i just maintained frendship wit my lil bros, we talked about everything, ranging from their lovelife, to skul, then their different weak points n all. I remember when their dad's younger bro sent them new fones n they hid it from their dad cos he was gonna raise hell but showed it to me cos they thot i'll understand... I'm writing this wit tears cos fond memories are haunting me, i later kinda left home for long and we didn't get to see again. Remember when chi called me to talk about his admission into Igbinedion and how he wanted me to be there for his matriculation, i cancelled the trip when i learnt his dad was gonna be there wit their mum's sis cos i didn't want any complications( i sooo wished i had gone, at least i'll have pictures to hold on to), i also remember helping him shop cos he thot i was tush and my taste will suit him(he was 15yrs then) and a whole lot of funny stuffs we all did together. Ok, this post is getting too long but it's for my baby bro so plz dont complain.

It was all like a dream when some months back i got a call from same cuz ( changed my number and made sure i didn't let them have it cos of their dad though i called wit a priv no from time to time) and now she goes like,

Cuz: Manda, we've been searching everywhere for you!

Me: Babes, hope nuthin is the mata o!

Cuz: ermmm, it's kinda serious but i think u shld call AD

Me: wat for? e win lottery?

Cuz: i am not joking jare, beta still call his older son.

Me: now i dont get all this, wat is the MATA?

Cuz: maybe i shld just tell u, chi is dead! Chineke, wat did u just stay, abeg if it's play just stop it o!

Then i drop the fone and wit shaky hands call senior boy, he confirms it n says my baby was poisoned in skul! Can u imagine that? the very famous Igbinedion Uni? i was filled wit greive and rage and i start ranting!

Could not brace myself to go for the burial and didn't even have the mind to call AD! this world is just sooo wicked! how can lil boys just kill their mate like dat! Did not find out wat the issue really was but i bet it must have been a gurl issue (wat else do guys fight for) n he was a medical student so i guess it had to do wit his class peeps too, i wonder wat chemical dey mixed! The skul tried avoiding scandal by lying dat he died a natural death but his dad took him for an autopsy where they got to find out he was poisoned! Maybe dat was why i avoided the burial cos i didn't think i could stand seeing his disected body! The boys involved were later caught and reprimanded but dat's all i got to hear about it.

Why do we live in a wicked world and how do we avoid evil befelling us? I know it is unlike me to write about sorrows n all but i had to pour it out.

I PRAY THAT MY BABY'S SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE! AMEN!!!

HAPPY BUFDEI TO MY ONE N ONLY BLOG QUEEN!

HAPPY BYDAY TO YOU!

HAPPY BYDAY TO YOU!!

HAPPY BYDAY TO YOU PRINCESA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BYDAY TO YOU! mwahzzzzzzz

too funny!

I have been very busy but i promise to put up something soon. Thru wit tha cleaning and refill, on my way to the dentist' for the extraction. Make una pray for me o! Will leave u guys wit this funny joke i got from a friend.lmao



A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on? the man responded "Militants have kidnapped, OBJ, IBB, Atiku, Buhari, Tony Anenih, Ahmadu Ali, Dariye, Nnamani, Odili, Ibrahim Mantu, Tinubu, Kalu, Ibori and Igbinedion.
They're asking for a $500 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. So, we're going from car to car, taking up a collection.
" The driver asks, "How much is everyone contributing, on the average?" the man responded "About a litre of petrol and a stick of matches."

O.............. Dental Clinic.

Registration: 1,500

Examination: 1,500

Cleaning: 7,000

AF7/9(refill): 25,000

Extraction: 25,000

Root Canal: 30,000

Total: 90,000 Naira.


Me: warrahell is dat? my bill? for wat now? all i wanted was to extract one tooth n refil the other! Now u come up wit all dis gist about root canal and 2 more refills!

Doc: Mem, we just gave u a good price, we already gave u some discount cos we know.........

(thots)Mmmmmh, this is just sooo outrageous!

Me: Ok, i'll see how it goes, (meanwjile, it's not like i'm d one paying o!)

Doc: so when are u coming to commence treatment so we can book u down.

Me: which treatment? (my thots) i would have just saved myself all these stress n shakara by going to Randle clinic o! by now i'll just pay like 5k and come out feeling fresh.

(to the doc) i'll leave it for later this week, that's when i make up my mind o!

Doc: I know u're scared of the treatment madam, it's same wit most of our patients (my thots) who tell u say i fear treatment na the money i fear jare!

Doc: we'll leave it for thursday, but u gotta pick a tyme urself. If u come in the morning, u'll meet doc A but if u come later in the day, i'll attend to u. so which do u want? ( my thots)yea, i already noticed u enjoy my being a chatterbox.


Me: (kinda feeln flirty) imma leave it for later, will rather have u see my ugly teeth. "chuckling" (i drink sef?)

Doc: Great then, (turns to the receptionist) the bill (back to me) plz give dis to ...............

Me: why wont u guys just pass it down, do i have to carry the bad news around myself? well, i reluctantly delivered the message and the instruction from .... is commence treatment ASAP. (if i asked for that money for personal use, i'm very sure i wouldn't have gotten it that easy o, now this ole buruku will chop it alone)


On thursday: i kinda feel exicted and dress to kill, leave the office at about 3pm so i can meet my 4pm appointment.

Doc: are u not glad to see me?

Me: in ur wildest dreams! (can someone plz tell this rubba that i got a bobo!)heheheheheeeeehehe....


They do the cleaning and brushing and all wat not( to be sincere it felt good o) Then they book me for next week tuesday, same time(which means same doctor), well i wont dress to kill again o, cos i narrowly escaped getting stained wit all the plenti washing water.lol

On my way out,(receptionist) sori ma, the doctor wants to have a word wit u. (me feeling like, o! he wants to say it now, i know u like me)

Doc: i'm soo sorry but i forgot to add dis to the invoice i gave u, i smile thinking it's another discount.

Me: looks at the invoice, 40 wat?

Doc: this is supposed to be for the crown filling but i forgot to include it,my bad! This sums the bill up to 130k.

Una dey crase, abeg berra send the message down urself o! i no go again! hissssssssssssssssssssssss.


PS: ermmmm, my tooth is still shinning o! i have refused to eat any oily food since yesterday and i'm seriously looking for anyone dat's got a toothpaste advert to offer.


Abeg o! are these guys not ripoffs?

embarrassing moments~

ok, i did the final fall on the 5th of this month, i mean final o! cos i'll neva fall again in jesus name, someone please shout AMEN! You need to see me on this fateful day, i went to work and was trying to rush home cos my boss was waiting outside the gate, so i rannnnnn from the warehouse to the office then one of the security guys came and was like "oga dey outside dey wait" then i increased the speed and just when i was almost victorious o! i just heard gbam! and i saw myself on the floor, as shame will catch the devil i was wearing a low waist jean o but God being merciful i wore a long top so the top just shifted a wee bit. when i realised i was on the ground was when i saw the security guys rushing down to come carry me up! chei i don see pepper, a whole BIG GURL like me! i sha acted like a true daughter of my momma and jumped up before they will see me finish o and walked gracefully away mumbling thank God i didn't sustain any injury only for me to notice some mins later dat i had this deep cut on my palm. it was nasty and painful but i thank God it's healed pata pata o! (big gurl wit sore hand) na wa!

maybe i should talk about just one more embarrassing moment and dis one still dey pain me o! back then in secondary sch, i used to attend dis shakara lesson dat had all happening chics and bobos my age but the co-ordinator was a very good teacher and a family friend at that so i was always using style to do the shakara. On this fateful day o, i jejely wore my short skirt to lesson but i had dis nasty cough and i knew it was an abomination to "break the stereo" in class so i just tried to respect myself n the cough but the darn thing wont let me be! and then i tried rushing out to cough when dis stupid nail just collected my skirt from me, i would have just stylishly turned the torn side to the other part and walked away but my ever inquisitive mind wanted to know if the skirt was really torn so i made the mistake of asking one dumbass chic behind me.

me: in a whisper, is my skirt torn?

gurl: haaaa! e tore o!

Can u imagine? now i became centre of attraction at class and everyone wants to know wat tore, the cough lost it's ground sef but every mischeivious student patiently waited after classes to see the gurl wit the torn skirt and believe me i had to bear that name "e tore " for close to a year like i was the one that said it! i still cringe whenever i rememba this day!


See me see embarrassing moments! Got any to share?

work don kill me finish!

yet another busy week! dis friday has been helele for me! i just realised i didn't even attempt my cherry popping blog rounds dis week!(i dey vex). so beware! imma terrorise yu all next week o! i am still at work n may leave here by 10pm or maybe slep over sef(evil laugh). my colleague is not here so i have 3 pple's work on my small head! (is d head big sef) well, i no go die! God dey!

Make i wish all my sweethearts a FUNFILLED AND STRESSFREE weekend o!

Abeg make una remember me for the enjoyment! i missed all of una plenty!


PS: Omo g, i am still waiting for my OFFICIAL APOLOGY O!

Alas! bday gist.

My pple, make una no vex for me. U guys should vex for my oga cos he caused it o! Can u imagine giving me 3 pple's work load and topping it wit deadline? if this is wat the raise was all about then he should take it back and give me my lil breathing space o! ( i dont think i mean it though)lol... enuf of the ranting jare, tyme to gist



I neva knew i was sooo loved! n i mean both the blog me and the real me. I was showered wit love at work on my bday, yes i went to work but i stubbornly covered my wholee table with bday cards so no where to write or work on except the computer and dat meant gisting wit friends and replying comments.lol.. the groove started wit a small bday bash at work, my oga gave me a kinda surprise bday party cos he was forming forgeting and i was HURT! can u imagine taking pains to arrange bday bgift for the man and my own tyme i didn't even get a text? I almost cried o! but was totally surprised at about 3pm when i saw food, drinks and cake. you need to see the way i was grinning (too bad i didn't take a camera to work, would have posted pictures) the most amazing thing was dat EVERYONE got me something at work, all of a sudden i became famous! it was dat bad that even our cleaner was like he was not happy cos i didn't tell him about my bday so he didn't get me a pressie (see me see trouble o!) well, he still bought me a card and i appreciate o! After all the plenty office groove, my boss now gave me my pressie which was ........................ I no go talk! heheheheheheeeee



Then it was evening and i got home to meet like 5 different cakes waiting for me, (wat was i meant to do wit all dat) i had to take 2 home from work o! (dat made it all 7) 1 from the office, the other from a suitor's sista( yes, i don dey get suitor na)hahahahahahaaaa.


amidst all the exictement, i remeber i had a date wit Mr, his friend and my friend. it was meant to be a kinda blind date for my friend and Mr's friend n it was my bday groove o! so we went to mega plaza to start the nite out wit booze, there i did my fanta and the best sharwama ive done in ages! and Mr's friend comes n starts noise about chics taking fanta and all and ordered smirnoff ice. Well, as the ibo gurl dat i am, i use sense push drink to my friend and the chic was busy gulping it down like she was drinking water! i was scared o, but they said the alcohol content was not much so she continued. I think i took a bottle of it sef but was still in full charge of myself ( i mistakenly escaped being a warri chic now) but friend started geting tipsy (HOW I WISH I KNEW, I FOR CARRY HER GO HOUSE O!) now she starts making noise about the place being too quiet and how she wants to go sing karaoke or dance to some music and then we change base to somewhere (i cant remember the name), they were playing good music but i was too embarrassed to dance cos my friend was busy dancing wit every guy or gurl that crossed her way ( i didn't know she was high o!) Then we met this white guy dat said it was his bday too n dat he works wit UN or so (wetin be my own) n decides to buy me a drink and sing me a bday song of my choice, i made the mistake of requesting for Mariam makeba's song o! cos my friend resulted to giving mr's friend a lap dance wit her sexy stilettoes. it was hilarious and u should have seen the embarrassing look on the guy's face! the white dudes n mr were busying having a good laugh but i didn't find it funny o, cos i was scared for my friend! we finnally managed to bundle her into the car amidst protest and all about how her mum warned her not to leave the island at nite so she does not get raided by police and all, she later got beta after puking all over the car (yucky) and dragging the gear with mr.hahahahahhahahaaaa. i was exhausted and slept off cos i was too tired and i had lectures for 9am the next day (it was like 2:30am or so)..



saturday was just lectures, sleep and a wholeee lot of rest!



then i went to church/work on sunday and later hung out wit Obi, Princess, Mr, my friend and me.lol... we were meant to go see a movie but Princess was LATE and she does not drive at nite so we ended up eating isi ewu (Goat head) amidst plenty picture taking by the one n only paparazzi (P) and plenty blog gist n all. the weekend was a wholeeee lotta fun but i think the most hilarious was friday nite.

i was meant to list my pressies here but after i heard omo sexy talk about getting 5 pairs of shoes as bday pressie, i decided to shut my mouth.lmao... i got plenty gifts sha.


PS: the blind date didn't work out cos the guy thot the gurl was not his kind ( he asked for it by getting the poor lil gurl high)!


Now do u think it's good to judge her by th nite's happenings or is he at fault for getting my poor friend drunk. wat would u have done if u were the guy?

Have a Berri Nice Weekend

Hope u guys missed me.lol..... They have finally decided to kill me with work here. Cant go thru tha rigours of typing a blog today so imma leave it for later. Make una no vexabeg, na busy cause am. mwahhhhhzzzzzzzz.xxxxxx


Nice weekend o!

just 2 of 'em bday pix. i wanted to share tha real cake here.

some bday pictures, wil give detailed account of the wholeeeee bday happenings later.

HAPPY BURFDAY OMOSEWA!

Came on especially cos of u sweet, just to wish you a very happy burfday n many happy returns! Have a good one luv.

ps: dat's ur bday Hunk n he's all urs! so feel free to eat ur cake.lol

HAPPY BURFDAY TO ME. ALAS,

A quick poem for Manda on her B Day

Manda Manda Manda

as sweet as a Guava fresh from the trees

with an eye on her bum bum

you'll have to see to believe

Manda Manda Mand

as she has fell from a building ,in the tub and ever from a tree

but she has survive to tell the story

as we all can see

Manda Manda Manda

one of the greatest of them all

on your special day we all stand and give you a BIG round of applause

happy birthday

Manda Manda Manda

Go have yourself a ball......

(written n composed by Omo G)

I was meant to type a lenghty blog today but i just came on, saw dis poem by my one n only Omo G n decided to post it. I'm gonna stop here for now but will definitely keep u guys posted on wat is happening. To all my loved ones, Chicala u r really my sis from another mum! Thanx for the special bday blog. I am meant to call names but i dont want to call n forget some so imma leave it at this.

I feel sooooo loved! hope everyone gets a share from this wonderful cake.mwahzzzzzzzzz

3 days to go......

sooo excited cos my burfday is alomst here n guess wat? i just got my 1st early bday gift in a cuteeeee carrier bag! If i calculate the no of pple i've reminded about my bday, think it will be upto 150.lol.... You know a sista needs to ask for gift now n this bday thingy is once in a year o! dont mind me jare, i know i'm a bday freak! wont deny it. oya Manda sharrap! enuf of dis bday talk! ok, make i try shut up now. ermmmmm, wetin i been want blog about sef, bday! ooooooooo! NOT AGAIN. ok, i no go talk about am again. CRASE! HAHAHAHHAA


Ok, i promised to blog about my FAMOUS FALL! mmmmh, as Obi said, i have 9 lives o, maybe i should ask my folks if dem cook me when dem born me sef, i'll talk a we bit about my ever adventurous falls n will try not to sound boring.

Fall no 1:- This happened when i was like 7yrs, i did not start dis my shakara today o! no be my fault though, i used to see my mum and sisters (got 2 elder sisi(s) bathe and look at their faces in da bathroom mirror and me being miss Agaracha, decided to try it out too n my small sense did not tell me dat a soapy body climbing on a bathtub was looking for trouble, so i climbed, saw and conquered. the next thing i knew, i was wailing cos the edge of the tub has jabbed my bum bum n they had to rush me to hospital to stitch it! My mum still says i got an eye on my bum.lol (na me cause am?)


Fall no 2:- we got this Guava tree behind tha house and the guava is soooooo sweet! well, i decided to pluck some on one faithful day o, and then i plucked like 30 pieces (ask me whether i go chop pass 3). i was almost done o, when the fine, big one fell on our tank (i think the tank supplies water upstairs) so i was sooo greedy i had to climb one tingili pipe like dat, after all i was going to get the fruit of my labour. b4 i knew wat was happening, the yeye pipe just break and the next thing i hear na gbam! Na ground i dey so !, not just ground, na german floor abi na wetin dem dey call am sef, i just manage gather myself, shut my mouth cos i know say na beating i go receive when i go up and went ahead to change the colour of our sofa wit my blood. hahhahahaa. by the tyme my sis found out wat happened, the gbegbero chci just went to report me straight, i was lucky that i was not flogged again but wit the kinda treatment they administered, it would have been better if they just beat me and left me alone.lol



Fall no 3:- this is the baba of 'em all. I went on hols to see my mum's younger sis (pple say i look like her) and she likes pampering me, so i was jejely enjoying my stay o! n then i used to like to play soccer wit her 4 yr old son,my cuz. i was 10yrs (yes i be agbaya). The woman locked us indoors (they stay in the 2nd floor of a 4 storey building) n went out o, so we play oooo till the ball fell to the next flat n the door was locked so i cld not go retrieve it, me being super woman decided to climb out the Balcony to the other side to get the ball, Mission was almost accomplished o b4 one yeye mouth just screamed and i lost it. Well i think i enjoyed the fall o cos i kept telling myself i was gonna fall to the first floor(small brain at work), the next thing i knew i was on the ground floor n it was the German floor again! this tyme around, i tried standing to no avail n the first thought that came to my mind was i had lost my legs, this was not funny o, but as God will have it my Aunt just got back same time n i was rushed to the klinik. i spent like 1 yr wit my legs suspended (cos i had an open bone that had to heal). Aunt was scared mumsie was gonna kill her although all the woman wanted was for her ever adventurous baby to get well. the good part was i neva had to do anything *smile* everyone was at my beck n call and the attention was just tooo much to savour! As for Mr Onyia, he acted like a man that he was but swore that none of his kids especially me was ever gonna leave his sight for more than a day. The Advantage to this was, i got to read the WHOLE BIBLE and i enjoyed reading it, n i didn't have to lose a class. i was promoted to jss2 on trial n then brain still hot now so i passed, u see i am a veryyyy adventurous chica. I had other minor advetures o! but these ones were the main ones.






Hope u enjoy my boring story n i just got good news from Obi. soo happy!

I AM BURNT!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE IMPUDENCE! I HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED YAHOO MESSENGER AT WORK!!! IT WAS JUST LIKE A JOKE O, THE NEXT THING I KNEW WAS THE GUY IN CHARGE OF OUR WEBSITE AND MAJOR INTERNET WAHALA JUST SENDS SOMEONE DOWN AND I LOGOFF AND LOG ON AND BAM!!! DA DAMN WHOLE STUFF IS GONE! IT'S ONE YEYE NEW STAFF DAT WE GOT THAT CAUSED ALL THESE O! THE SUPPOSED CHIC IS GONNA BE A WEEK TOMORO AND BOSS CAUGHT HER CHATTING ON MESSENGER YESTERDAY!(NONESENSE AND FRIED CHICKEN) I THINK HIS ANGER IS THAT SHE IS STILL TOO FRESH TO BE SPENDING ALL HER TYME ON CHAT BUT WETIN COME BE OUR OWN FOR THE MATA NOW? WE ALL ARE LOSING OUT NOW!



WELL I HAVE ACCESS TO SERVER BUT I WONT WANT TO ABUSE IT MOREOVER I'M THE ONLY ONE DAT GOT THE PASSY HERE SO IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, I'LL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE.

PLZ I NEED YOU GUYS TO LINK ME UP TO ANY WEBSITE DAT WILL LET ME KEEP MY CONTACTS, DO A LIL CHAT AND STILL NOT GET INTO TROUBLE. I HAVE MSN, MYSPACE, USED TO HAVE A COUPLE OF FRIENDS ON GMAIL BUT I DONT EVEN KNOW IF IT STILL WORKS COS IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE I OPENED ANY OF THEM SITES. DONT THINK I CANT LIVE WITOUT THIS (AFTER ALL I'M PAYED TO WORK) BUT I JUST FELT A GURL COULD PUT A LIL LYFE IN MY EVER BORING, MONOTONOUS LYFE.




HAVE A BERRY NICE WEEKEND ALL AND DONT FORGET TO HELP A SISTA OUT! MUAHZZZZZ.




(PS: THIS BLOG WAS STARTED YESTERDAY BUT I JUST COMPLETED & DECIDED TO POST IT TODAY)

i have been tagged! now una go see me finish.lol

This is serious homework and very hard for dat mata but i will try my possible best to make it just 9!( Blog queen no vex o) i have plenty to talk about jare. 9 Random things about me, here it goes.... (looks like i cant upload multiple pix o!)

(1) I can be very choosy when it comes to food, give me noodles or rice 24/7 no wahala, i will consume but when it comes to chewables and swallowables, count me out o! i love junkies a wholeeee lot! i can just take snacks and chocolates for the rest of my life but as God gave me (BIG BODY) i have to watch it or else i'll turn to full time Orobo, i dont drink Coke/pepsi or Garri else i'll have constipation for 2 days! No matter the medication i take, constipation must stay for 2 days. I used to enjoy lying down and munching my meal or picking crumbs from the table.lol ( But Mrs Onyia made sure she stopped dat).

(2) I am Acrophobic! ( will blog fully about this later) i cant stand heights at alllll. i remember once trying to climb one pedestrian Bridge in Lagos and i felt like i was gonna fall off it anytime, i still get real scared when i'm on a lift! yes, laugh at me o! i always feel like the light will go off and i'll be caught in middle of no where. I dont envy people dat live in pent houses o!

(3) I have just 2 correct female friends and like 150 male friends, i was popular jingo among dem males in skul but it was kinda good cos they neva let me get into trouble(always felt like big brodas) i think the reason i feel more comfy wit guys are cos they neva take things personal and always say their mind, mumsie always warned about keeping female company dat will ask me to come say wat i told Angela, so i avoid it like a plague.

(4) When it comes to my body and environ, i can be a Neat Freak, i cant stand dirt in toilets and bathrooms and my body always itches like hell when i have to cross a dirty gutter or road. I dont bathe wit sponge cos i always assume it's got germs in it and whenever i do, i'll have to dance for at least 30 mins cos my body will be itching like mad! if i go to eat in a restaurant and notice any dirt in the food or table, i'll feel like throwing up!

(5) I am a big time Introvert, veryyyyy hard to believe but i love the comfy of my four walls! i just like to sit at home and read loadsss of novel! Got like 4 big "Ghana must go" full with novel all Thriller and i'm still not tired of buying o! Have been taken for been Snobbish cos i neva grace pple's occasions but it's not my fault o, dont just see myself moving an inch out of tha house (except during Nkwobi tyme).lol

(6) I loveee listening to good Music, Singing n Dancing, yea i do all dat indoors and almost every kind of music can go for me except Rap, i dont just feel it. I play loud music at work, wonder why i have not been warned yet. I also got a big Crush on Usher and it does not seem to be dying off.

(7) I am a Multi tasker, talk about chatting, working, eating and gisting same tyme. I am good at doing a wholeee lot of things same time.

(8) The first impression people have about me is she's soo quiet cos i'm always tongue tied when i'm in mist of strangers but give me tyme and i'll open my mouth although i wont like to show myself just like dat, i make friends easily (dat's if i like ur personality) but have neva been able to openly ask for smtn or express myself, maybe dat's why computer is my bestest friend cos i can pour it out here or on fone( trying to work on it though).

(9) Do i really need to stop @ 9?no now.... Well, i'm the only gurl i know that have fallen from a high tank and a 2 storey building and still flaunt my legs!(Thank God the scars left o) heheheheeee. Used to be a tomboy but i love me skimpy skirts and shorts n i do a lot of them (mainly at home though)...

Finally made it, so wat do u guys think? am i wierd or wat?

i am tagging everyone dat wants to be tagged.lol...

tha weekend is here again. woo hooooo

Just to wish everyone a PLEASANT weekend filled with fun! My back is aching and i need to go work, maybe Obinna was rite when he said we get to do all the work while our housegurls do all da enjoyment. Well, thank God i dont have a help cos i sure would have slaughtered her for dinner when i get home today (kidding). Congrats to Princesa for the change of name, Pammy how on earth am i meant to write 600 words? No strenght jare. Ugo, happy Bday to Amarachi, Obinna, i still want to try my luck on that Goattle stuff o! (yes, i be ibo gurl) Omosewa, will rather call u omo sexy, groove on gurl, Omo G, remember our business o! toyintomato, gurl i wanna hear all about the gist! Sparkle, stop to dey harrass pple blog o!(miss Cherry Popper)lol... Obi the stalker, no comment... and to alll my loved ones dat i didn't include, abeg make una no vex! i am typing dis in a haste, may have to update it later.

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK ALL. lots of luv!!!

PS: Dat's my picture, was just grinning at work!

Burfday, 3rd August.

wow, guess i can finally attach pictures to my blog! is dat not amazing! i'm becoming soo boring nowadays and i give the kudos to my work, i cant believe a wholeeeeeeee Blog Queen asked for a change of name and i just viewed it after she has picked names sef! Dat is the height of negligence!

Imma try to make dis short and straight to the point cos i'm here to talk Business!hahahahahaaa. As the Blog title states, my birthday is on the 3rd of August and i'm gonna be Officially 37 (No typo) heheheheeheee. So down to Business, Firstly, i want to know who's interested in da party or hangout, then secondly, i'm still trying to pick where to mark it. I actually have 3 places in mind, (i) The Beach (ii) The Club (nite club) and (iii) The Movies. Ok i'm finding it hard to pick the rite one cos No 1 sounds like the ideal place to have fun but this is rainy season here and if it rains on tha day, then it will be tha worst day out, for No 2, not everyone likes to hang out at nite (me especially) and i really dont think i'll love to lose my sleep although i may sacrifice one nite sleep for my friends, then No 3, is not soo cost effective (rememba i'm an economist) cos if i take 10 couple(s) to SIlverbed, i'll have to pay thru my nose o! moreover, we cant just see a movie and go home from there, mite as well give then lunch of dinner! So u see it's not really as easy as i thought, the last option is to bake a mighty cake and give anyone that brings me a PRESENT part of it (sounds ideal)lol...

Now i really have to weigh this and it's giving me a headache! I dont want anyone celebrating my bday for me, cos it's my day not theirs and i also want to make it a nice one!

I cant really think of a good place now and i dont want to keep worrying my head and i believe i got a lotta DARLINGS here that will help me think it out. Abeg helep a sista o!

PS: I WANT MY BURFDAY GIFTS ASAP O! AND FOR THOSE IN NAIJA DAT WANT TO COME, NOTE THAT: NO GIFT , NO PARTY! SHIKINA!! FOR THOSE OUTSIDE NAIJA, ABEG JUST PACKAGE THE GIFT AND DHL IT JARE. (Gift includes: Cash, Cheque, Landed property, Moto, and any other kind of present) No Stories plz. mwahhhhhzzzzz in advance.

Dat's a pix of Mr Nigeria, Ikenna. Is he not too cute! Think i got a crush on him.lol

Update:- this is for poke noser(s) like Obinna dat dont wanna mind thier Business o! I'll be officially 23yrs next month. Satisfied?

IS PRUDENT SAME THING AS MEAN?(pt1)

i had a hella of a day today, and the most annoying part was it was an impromptu assignment so i had to take my battered self all thru tha ordeal! I had dis lil talk with my boss yesterday about one of our branch offices in TRADE FAIR COMPLEX (have neva been there b4 today) and i saw keeping the outlet as a useless assest cos we got lil or no money coming from it and we also got distributors all over. (remember i work wit a biscuit company) Now my boss who always thinks i'm an efficient worker *grin* promises to do something about the outlet and i joyfully go home thinking i just crossed one stress off my list. (it's not like the workers there where gonna be retrenched, all they had to do was move down to main office or go to another CLOSER branch).

Now i get to work dis mornign and hear the shocker of my life, BOSS WANTS ME TO GO AUDIT THE OFFICE AND SEE IF IT'S WORTH CLOSING DOWN. This wipes the smile off my face cos from wat i hear, it's like travelling to another town, ( for those of u familiar with lagos, i work in Ikeja and Tradefair is wayyy off my route!) Ok, i whine and grumble and reluctantly agreed to go, not like i had a choice though! But the only consolation was i had someone to take me there and bring me back. The JOURNEY going down was not as stressful as i thought, at least from the stories i was told, i just spent like 1hr:15mins going and then the DRAMA started.

Part of my work here is taking care of anything involving sales but that excludes distributors (Thank God) and i have gotten used to being called all sorts of names like MEANY, WICKED, HEARTLESS and all sorts and the truth is, i am more or less the most friendly worker we got around(not trying to praise me) but my second name is smile and i do dat alot, but pple still get the wrong impression about me cos i just try to do my work!

Now i go check the stock, and dat includes all thier records and notice some funny dealings there. ( this is like the 3rd time we are gonna handle fraud in this particular branch) and then i smile on and finally confirm that there is really something going on here. I confront the lady in charge and she mumbles smtn about trying to sort out watever is wrong * thank God she didn't call me dumb* then i tell her to get back to me and leave cos i had it in mind dat i had a longggg journey ahead of me. Well she calls like 30mins after i leave and start tha cock and bull story about making a mistake and all dat and i judt tell her ok, i'll sort it out. I know she's lying and tryong to save her head but i also have a report to send backk to my boss and there my problem lies. I already got this bad reputation about being too prudent and never letting go although i try to sort out minor problems on my own, and young lady wants me to cover her up so boss does not get to confront her mishaps and my question is, WHAT DO I DO? wat i have inmind is telling boss wat i noticed although i'll make it sound light and save my company the stress of dealing wit a fraud but dat will make me earn one more enemy! and the other option is keeping it to myself and hoping they get to pay for the missing stock and dat makes me an accomplice! Times like dis i get real tired of the job i do but wat do u guys advice me to do.



This is actually meant to be longer than this but i'm sooo tired and need to go soak myself in a worm bath! Wil go round all da blogd tomoro. Promise! Missed yall!

Inspired by Blog Queen!

The other day when i read P's blog, i found it kinda funny cos i almost had an encounter wit the "Eze Nwanyi" (Queen mother or so) herself and it was not a very funny experience! It all started when i had to go to my hometown wit Family and i always looked forward to it cos i get spoiled silly and pampered by all and me enjoy being pampered.lol.... But dis unfortunate time, our trip was cut short cos of one nonesense or would i say yeye man dat just came up wit this outrageous story about our village Goddess "Eze Nwanyi"!

Well, i always noticed dat whenever i pass dis particuler uncle of mine and greet him, he'll always mumble smtn dat sounded like "eze smtn" but i was never bothered with watever he said, at least i've done my own quota by respectfully greeting him. OK, Oga comes visiting one day and had dis HEATED convo with my mum! was wondering wat it was all about but wetin concern agbero wit overload? the grown ups could take care of them probs witout getting we "kids" involved! well trouble started one day when i greeted Uncle S again and heard him mumble (how are u eze nwanyi!) well me being the inquisitive me dat i've always been, went home and asked mum why Uncle S called me eze nwanyi! as if the man knew wat happened, he came to the house dat evening and demanded dat he talk to both maself and my mum, mumsie tried being polite and asked me to sit down and listen to watever nonsense he had to say, Uncle S started by saying i was the (CHOSEN ONE) WAT DA HELL? i didn't even know he was one of the agents of our so called GODDESS till dat moment. The story is, she said she wants me to be her prophetess or watever i have to call dat and all i needed to do was come see her in her place, then the vision seeing will start, make una see me see trouble o! Guess he thought it a lucrative job cos he also reminded us that pple will come visit me and give me gifts and dat i could make things happen if i wanted to! " guess dat means possessing all the evil spirits!" To say i was SHOCKED AND SCARED was an understatement, now Uncle brings out kola nut from where ever and asks me to chew and ask "eze nwanyi" to reveal herself to me. Now i am shaking wit tears and i think that was when my mum got out of her trance and sent Big Uncle S out of the house and warned him never to come close to any of his kids! Funny but true story o!


i still get pissed when i rememba this incident and i keep wondering why the foolish "thing" didn't just pick someone else dat was willing to serve her instead of coming to cut our long awaited travell short.

PS: i've seen a picture of this Queen mother and believe me, she looks nuthin like me! she got this very longgggggggggg breast dat sweeps the floor and has dis big cat on her lap( grandad had the pix, wonder how he got it). i used to have a cat when i was veryyyyy young but caught whooping cough cos i always shared my left over tea from skool wit it so dad flung it away and dat was the end of cats! NOw i wonder wat i would have been doing in that shrine, neva been there so dont even know wat it looks like but i guess Obinna would have called me to stop the rain or maybe many of u will come pay some consulting fees for me to help solve ur probs!


This world is really full of EVIL POWERS and only GOD will save his pple!

HAVE A BERRY NICE WEEKEND!

I had a very busy day at work today and now i'm soooo tired and exhausted! Was meant to post a proper blog today but changed my mind (cos i'm too tired) and decided to just wish everyone a PLEASANT WEEKEND!

Hope it's gonna be an exciting one, want to hear alllllllll about it. will post mine too.


xoxoxooxox

This is sooo scary but true!

Dear All, This is a testimony that will inspire you and spur you to trusting God more. It goes to prove that God is our only source of protection and security. Running to Him is the only surety we have in this wicked world. Read and appreciate God's unchanging love.

This testimony was shared in Faith Tabernacle Canaan Land , On Father's Day Celebration (June 17, 2007) Be blessed.

MY TESTIMONY I give this testimony to the glory of God and for these 3 reasons

1. To proof that God answer prayers.
2. The word of God is power
3. There is reward for dedicated service that comes from a sincere heart.

On Friday the 25th day of May 2007, as I drive through Gowon Estate, just after RCCG (Dominion Parish) to the left, I was about to make a call when I sited a team of police men (6 of them) on check point duty. I stopped the car just some meters from them, turn off the engine and started calling. I was just dialing the number when one of them came from the passenger’s side to accuse me of making phone call while driving. I told him I wasn’t and that this is the reason why I parked the car. He accused me of lying. This got me angry and I stepped out of the car, close the door and both of us started arguing. I stood by the driver’s side of the car raging and ranting and telling the police man what I feel about the police operation. One of them, a corporal came from behind me and touched my shoulder saying “we are not fighting now”. Immediately, I became weak. As much as I tried talking, my mouth was not responding. By this time, I looked around and noticed what these police men were doing, but I could do nothing about the situation. After a while I was instructed to enter the car and drive. By this time, 5 vehicles were already arrested, 1 jeep and 4 cars (my car inclusive). A lady (one of the captives) was asked to sit in the front seat of my car, while the two police men sat at the backseat of the car. Again, I wanted to complain but again the police man touched my shoulder. This he kept doing anytime he observes I was trying to come out of his hold. This continued until we got to Ayobo road. Between Abesan Estate gate and Ayobo road junction, I knew I was driving but remembered nothing. Then when I saw a small Canaan land bus approaching, I was coming out of their grip and the man behind me touched me again so I drove past the bus. My car stopped twice. The first time I started it and we continued, as we approached the bridge along Ayobo – Ota road, the car stopped for the second time. As I tried starting the car, that was the last thing I knew. By the time I regained consciousness, I saw myself in a thick forest with a lot of people sitting down on the ground. We were close to 2000. There was no house, no light, just people. The boy to my left introduced himself as Jonathan and his younger brother John. He said he noticed I was praying while unconscious until I became conscious. He enquired the church I attend and I said Winner’s chapel. He said he worship at RCCG in Lokoja, Kogi State . He said he was taking his brother to Osun State University to sit for the entrance examination before they found themselves in this place. Then he brought out his handset and I collected it. I noticed there was a bar of signal on it. So I was able to call my wife secretly and inform her of what was happening. I called back the second time and specifically instructed her to go and inform our father in the Lord, Bishop Oyedepo and also Pastor Victor (the Music director) and that what I need now is prayers. I told her that this is not time to start crying. We were at this location from the day I made the call (which I later learnt was Monday 28th May, 2007) for about six days. Doughnut, meat-pie, sachet water, juice were given to those who have gained full consciousness. I refused to take any of the things they brought and also instructed the two brothers and another man with whom I pray not to. While there, I remembered this was my 10th year as an in-house consultant to the ministry. I then reminded God that this not the reward of service. I also reminded him of my service in church, with the choir and then I said, NO WAY, I CAN’T END UP LIKE THIS. The 4th day after I made the call, they brought bottled juice and because we were famished, I asked my prayer partners to take it. I prayed over it nullifying every power inside. I pleaded the blood of Jesus over it , and then we took the juice. On the 5th day after I made the call, they came for me. It has become a routine. Every 40 to 50 minutes, they come to pick between 70 to 100 people and none ever returned. But I told the other three with whom I pray, “see ya, and I followed them.” I was priviledged to be amongst the people in front. We trekked for close to 45 minutes. It was as if we were going down a slope through a tunnel, with a wall of earth/grass on both sides. Then, we arrived in front of a gate under the ground. The gate was opened to reveal a neatly painted building, well lit. The painting was hypnotic. The doors, ceiling, wall and floor of the building has the same colour. Together with 15 others, I was ushered into the first room. I was the seventh person. While others moved along the long unending corridor. By now, the only thing that kept replaying itself on my mind was mummy Oyedepo’s audio book, “RESCUED FROM DESTRUCTION” which I was privileged to edit. It started from the very beginning as soon as I stepped into the underground building. In the room, there was this non reflective mirror on the wall and one after the other, we were instructed to step in front of the mirror. As each person steps in front of the mirror, in 3 to 4 seconds, his or her image appears and the next thing is we hear the person’s name. The only thing I can’t tell is who was calling the names. Then the person’s image on the mirror will be covered with blood. The person will then be directed to go through another door, different from the door we came in from. What happens next I do not know. When it was my turn, I stepped forward and positioned myself like others. I stood in front of the mirror for about 4 minutes but my image did not appear in the mirror. After sometime, it appeared and I saw my self inside the mirror. I must state here that I was not scared at all. What kept ringing in my ears was mama’s voice reading the audio version of her book. Then, after another 3 minutes of my image appearing, mummy Oyedepo’s voice sounded loud and clear that even the captors heard it, “GOD IS TOO FAITHFUL TO FAIL, HE IS DEPENDABLE, HE IS MORE THAN ENOU GH .” The voice came three times and then, the mirror cracked into bits and pieces and dropped in a heap on the floor like a broken wind screen. Immediately, there was confusion. The remaining 8 people behind me were moved out of the room and I was left there alone weak in the flesh but with mummy’s voice still sounding strong in my spirit man. After a while 5 of our captors into the room and one of them started asking, who are you? What is your name? From where are you? Who is your father? To all these questions, I gave no answer. I was just starring. They all went out again and later one of them came back to take me into another room. This time, the new room was empty. No chair, no bed, nothing, just me. I was in this room for a long time. No food, no water, no sun, no moon, no star, no time, just me. So I cannot say for how long I remained in the room. Then, one day, I was just staring at the other end of the room when I saw something like dew, like a smoke and Bishop Oyedepo stepped out of it. He then said: “Peter, have you seen mummy?” I said no daddy. He then said, mummy (Rev, Mrs. Oyedepo) is looking for you, she has an assignment for you. Then he gave me the instruction saying; “MAKE SURE YOU SEE HER”. He said this 3 times and each time I replied, yes daddy. Then he disappeared. By this time my strength returned and I was fully conscious. Not quiet 5 minutes after my encounter with papa, the door to the room I was flung open and standing right in front of me was a huge man, fair in complexion, has a bald head, with beards. With him were between 15 and 20 people. All of them wore red gowns. I was on my feet as soon as the door opened. And a question and answer session started: MAN: who are you? ME: and I boldly declared, I am a child of God MAN: All of us are children of God ME: There are some that are more real than others MAN: What is your name? ME: I am a child of God MAN: From where? ME: Canaan Land MAN: Where? ME: Ota. Then he said, MAN: A man came to warn me that if I don’t let you go, In seven days, who is this man? ME: He is my father MAN: What is his name? ME: BISHOP DAVID OYEDEPO At this point, the man turned to his men and said, “I instructed you people to mind the kind of people you bring here. Take this man away from this place and return anything you took from him. He said “I don’t want anyone disturbing our operation here”. He was about leaving when I said, I am not the only person, we are 4. He then asked where are the rest and I replied I don’t know. He then instructed them to release the 4 of us. As God will have it, as I stepped out of the room, coming into the underground building are the 3 boys I left outside. I identified them and they were brought to me. The next thing I knew again was I saw us outside the thick forest in the cold. How we got there is still a mystery. What happened between the time I identified them and the time we got to that position, I do not know. I then asked my partners to start reciting psalm 23, while I recited psalm 91. Our hands were tied together behind us before we were left in the middle of the thick forest. As we continued in our recitations, I felt a little light shine on my face from afar. I stood my ground and asked my friends to continue. Then a voice sounded in Yoruba language “WHO ARE THOSE?” We did not answer. The light came nearer and asked the question the second time. The 4th boy with us then started running away, leaving only 3 of us. Again, the question was asked the 3rd time and by this time, it was very close to me so I opened my eyes and saw a figure dressed like a hunter in front of me. He then said in Yoruba language “OH THIS PEOPLE AGAIN?” He loosened the rope on our hands, and asked us to follow him. When we tried calling on the boy that ran off, the hunter said we should leave him alone. So, the hunter from that day led us through the forest for 6 nights. As much as I tried to see his face, I could not. He smelt like incense and his voice was like someone inside a tunnel. He only came at night and when it is dawn, he points to the right where a hut awaits us. The 2nd night, he prepared sandals made of leaf and roots for us. By the 3rd night, the 3rd boy was so weak and hungry that he could hardly move. Then the boy said, “I am hungry” the hunter replied us saying, “YOU DID NOT ASK”. On saying this, he reached inside his bag and brought out a warm piece of roasted yam for each of us. On the 4th and 5th nights, he gave us mouth burning piece of yam each time. So we continued until we got to the main road on the 6th night and the hunter pointed to the left and said “this way is to Ibadan ” and pointing to the right side he said, “this way is to Akure”. He then pointed to his left for the first time in 6 days and asked us to remain in the hut until the next morning. I made sure the strange hunters’ instructions were carried out to the letter. I had started off into the hut when I remembered the piece of yam for that night. I turned round to request and alas, the hunter had disappeared. We turn on the hand set to discover network, so I was able to call my wife, though we did not know our location then. By the next morning, we found out hat turning to the right the signal on the hand set increases, we proceeded towards that direction until we arrived at EKEJI-ILE, OSUN STATE .

We went to Ayo Babalola University , told them our story and they assisted us. I bless the name of the Lord for confirming the words of His servant in my life and for the fulfillment of prophecies from the mouth of His servant. Glory to God.

@ work and soooo sleepy!

Looks like we're in longer days and shorter nites cos i see myself always waking up grumpy and tired and it's not like i go to bed really late, i need enuf sleep and cant seem to get it. Yea rite, this is how i feel dis morning so imma let it out! Lol... Can u believe i've still not gotten the present? and i dont even look forward to going out today, guess i'll do it tomoro.heheheheeee. Yea dat's me, MISS PROCASTINATOR! just hope i dont postpone walking down aisle on my wedding day *grin*.

You know i've been getting a lot of funny messages recently and i wonder if someone is actually passing a message along and while i was laughing away, i remembered the prank i played on 1st April, i'm an April fool chic and i just love it when pple buy my story.lol... Why is it that whenever a gurl says she's feeling NAUSEOUS (auntie P corrected me) the next thing u hear is are u sure u're not preggie? it could as well be FOOD POISONING or WORMS disturbing ur system but all u hear is PREG! PREG!! PREG!!! Guess i'm just rambling today and dat's mainly cos i want to go home and sleep!

Maybe i'll post a beta blog later today but for now i just wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp!



one of the funny text messages i got :- A PRAYER.. Dear Lord, i pray for Wisdom to understand my woman, Luv to forgive her & Patience for her mood swings cuz Lord if i pray for Strenght. i'll beat her silly! Lol

Come for ur drink.

Yea i mean it, but it's gotta be here so those dat stay far away from me wont need to pay transpot fare all da way down here for just a glass of cocacola! No Liquour man, i am born a new! Have been working sooo hard today cos i want to maintain my good record and i think i've been spending soo much time on the computer, think i'll reapply here and ask for a secretarial job dis tyme so i'll have a good excuse for hanging around the computer all the tyme. *grin*

A big thanx to everyone dat helped suggest a bday present for my boss and for those who decided to ignore me! i am beefing alllll of you and still expecting to hear from you, will rather pick from a wide range of gift ideas. i am really looking forward to my weekend cos i think it's gonna be funfilled, will definitely tell u guys all about it on monday.


Now to the last for the day, i just got a raise! woo hooo, and i think it's tyme to start popping the champagne and let the music roll on! Have a good weekend all and dont forget to come for your drink.mwahhhzzzz.

HELP! HELP!! HELP!!!

How time flies! i just discovered that june is almost ended and i curse this thing they call PROCASTINATION! My boss' birthday is 1st week of july and as a dedicated worker that i am, i was meant to picka gift before now. The mistake i made was i kept saying 3months to go... 2months to go... now i have to count days down and dat's nto funny cos the strike has drained me and i need to get beta gift for my boss(reason):- my people say if right hand wash left hand, left hand go retaliate.hahhahaaa, that does not mean i am expecting any favour o! but it's always been this ritual that i get my boss a nice gift and he gives me the bestest during my bday which is a month after his. YES it's a HE, say wat u like! all i know is he is not just a boss but a mentor and...... not wat u think o!



Now the problem i got now is picking a befitting bday gift for him dat will be cost effective too cos ur babe is sooo broke! I need to get a gift ASAP and i dont even have the mind to visit a gift shop yet till i have an idea of wat i really want. That's where you my loved ones come in, plzzzzzzzzzzz help me pick a gift that u think a sista can afford and it's gotta be a very good one cos my boss has got real taste o, it's either i get him something he will appreciate or i dont bother at all.



abeg my pple, makke una helep me o! i got less than 5 days to pick a gift. Thank yu in advance!

PS: this stuff is not letting me post pictures o!

Introductory Note!

Dear Diary, 2nd day on blogville. ermmmmm, kind of hard to start a new blog world but i'll keep this on da minimal.lol...

Maybe i should start wit a lil introduction, my name is Amanda from delta state which the heart beat of naija *smile* so if u r a white and dont want to be KIDNAPPED, plz dont come close. My warri brodas are stingy jare cos i am meant to be a chief or money chopper in my village(asaba) instead i stay in Lagos here and work till my back bends! I work wit a biscuit firm that has refused to produce swet biscuits (plz dont tell my boss i said dat) abd i expect EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU to come buy our biscuit for ur Tea break! shikina! I love to hang out wit pple dat got great sense of humour cos my 2nd name is Miss SMILE, my favourite quote " live each day like it's ur last" so we can have fun while u collect ur paycheck and transfer the money to my account, u neva can tell (today may be ur last o) and for everyone's information, i need you to add me o! and i mean add me! or else.......


Dat will be all for now folks, y'all have a great day
Manda

Fresher's Club.

Here i am Princess, hope i'll have fun.